In recent years, the topic of breastfeeding in public has sparked a lot of conversation, often dividing opinions into three distinct camps: 1) Only breastfeed in private spaces; 2) Breastfeed publicly if necessary, but cover up; and 3) Breastfeed freely, anywhere, anytime. I personally identify with the third group, but as a breastfeeding mother, I often find myself leaning towards the first group’s mindset. Am I ashamed? Not at all. My main priority is to nourish my child, and truth be told, I’d just as soon keep my breasts out of view—not just for my comfort, but for yours too. After years of keeping them hidden, it feels unnatural to expose them, and I certainly don’t want to be the center of discomfort or scrutiny.
While volunteering for a fundraiser at my eldest daughter’s school, I took the opportunity to nurse my new baby in the car. The prospect of breastfeeding in front of my daughter’s friends and their parents was daunting—not because of their reactions, but due to my own comfort levels. I genuinely believe that breastfeeding in public would invite unwanted stares, and I’m just not ready to be the subject of that kind of attention. My breasts feel like an elephant in the room, so I prefer to nurse among friends who I know will be supportive. Would I like to see a more accepting society? Absolutely. However, I’m not prepared to be the one challenging societal norms around breastfeeding.
For me, breastfeeding is a unique bond between my child and me. Infancy is such a brief period, and nursing is a special experience that I cherish. If you can’t view this intimate act without judgment, I’d rather you not witness it at all. I can control that aspect. Plus, any infant who can move their arms will inevitably pull a cover off their face, making it unrealistic to expect a blanket to stay in place. I’ve even toyed with the idea of creating a “breast coozy” similar to those used for soda cans, as my breast tends to get cold when exposed, but I’m doubtful that even that would satisfy the demands of critical onlookers.
I often hear activists urging mothers not to hide and to breastfeed openly, insisting that normalizing the act will lead to change. A part of me longs to be that bold mother, but then reality strikes. When we go out to dinner, I find myself feeding the baby before we leave to avoid potential judgment. I can’t help but scan the restaurant for anyone who might disapprove or confront me about my choice. I’ve seen the viral videos, and I often wish for a more secluded spot to nurse. Eventually, I return to the car to grab my nursing pillow, only to find that my baby has drifted off to sleep, and I feel a wave of relief.
Do I think breasts are over-sexualized in our culture? It’s complicated. While they are sexual organs, they also serve a fundamental purpose—the nourishment of my child. It raises an interesting question: Do we view breasts through a lens of sexualization, or can we recognize that, in the context of nursing, they serve a different role? One of my favorite statues is at the Our Lady of La Leche shrine in St. Augustine, Florida, depicting the Virgin Mary nursing baby Jesus. If this act is so offensive in public, why is there a shrine dedicated to it?
When I see another mother breastfeeding in public, I genuinely admire her confidence. I want to approach her and say, “thank you,” or something equally awkward like, “I don’t find you offensive!” I like and share breastfeeding images on social media, but only with close friends and family.
In essence, I’m the mom who opts for the privacy of a dressing room or my car to breastfeed—seeking a calm, quiet space to share this beautiful moment with my child. Until society evolves to embrace breastfeeding in public, I’m not inclined to turn my nursing experiences into a confrontation about normalizing the act. I am thankful for those who are paving the way.
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Summary
Navigating the world of breastfeeding in public can be challenging for many mothers. While some may feel comfortable nursing openly, others, like myself, often prefer to find private spaces to feed our children. This article discusses the societal pressures surrounding breastfeeding, the personal experiences of nursing in less public spaces, and the desire for a more accepting environment for breastfeeding mothers.
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