As a mother of four, including three sons and one daughter, I’ve come to believe that it’s necessary to raise girls and boys differently in today’s world. While it would be lovely to think we could treat them the same, the reality is that our society still imposes distinct expectations on girls and boys.
I strive to instill strength, kindness, and resilience in all my children. I want them to be thinkers who uphold what is right, cherish the present, and embrace life fully. However, I acknowledge that my daughter’s journey may require a different approach than her brothers’.
In 2023, we still face stereotypes and cultural influences that shape how children perceive themselves and each other. While I encourage my daughter to be tough—she proudly wears her Star Wars shirts and her brothers’ old race car boxer briefs—she also enjoys dresses and skirts with pockets. I want her to feel empowered to express herself in every way, even if it means being loud and assertive, while also teaching her that sometimes she may need to navigate situations differently.
It’s crucial for my sons to recognize that it’s okay for a girl to assert herself and to be direct, just as it is for them. They are learning to listen to her, respect her opinions, and understand that losing to a girl in a game is perfectly acceptable. This might seem obvious, but societal norms often complicate matters.
While I teach my boys how to be confident and straightforward, I also prepare my daughter for the reality that she may not always have the same social equity to voice her thoughts. She needs to know how to present her ideas assertively while also having the skills to soften her message if necessary. It’s a balancing act that recognizes the unique challenges faced by women today.
I also have the responsibility to prepare my daughter for the realities of personal safety that my sons may not have to consider in the same way. The risks she faces are different, and while my sons will learn about awareness and respect, my daughter will need to be equipped to handle situations that could threaten her safety.
It’s disheartening to acknowledge that the world is not yet equal for men and women. As a parent, I aim to influence change through my children, but I must also equip them to navigate the existing landscape. This means reinforcing certain traits in my daughter while encouraging my sons to embrace vulnerability and humility.
Ultimately, I recognize that I may not have all the answers, and no parent does. But in a world that still operates under outdated norms, adapting my parenting style to each child’s needs seems necessary. By doing so, I hope to prepare them to find common ground amidst the pressures of society.
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Summary
Raising my daughter requires a different approach than my sons due to societal pressures and expectations. I teach all my children to be strong and kind, while also preparing my daughter for the unique challenges she may face as a girl. Balancing these lessons is crucial to ensure they all grow into confident individuals in a world that doesn’t always treat them equally.