Updated: Jan. 18, 2023
Originally Published: Jan. 18, 2023
It was a rare date night for my husband and me, just 12 days after welcoming our newest addition. After a lovely dinner, we decided to swing by the store for some baby essentials, our little one peacefully snoozing in the car seat while our other children were at home, hopefully asleep with a babysitter.
As we approached the checkout, a woman joined the line with her grandchild in the cart, the little one babbling happily. Her husband hovered behind her. When I lifted the car seat cover to check on my baby, she exclaimed, “Oh my goodness! You have a newborn!”
“Yes, ma’am,” I responded politely while my husband settled the bill. As I turned back to the cart, her husband chimed in, “Looks like she’s got another one on the way!” clearly thrilled with his observation.
I could have sworn I heard the woman say, “Uh-oh,” as we tried to stifle our laughter. We barely made it outside before bursting into giggles all the way home.
The next day, just 13 days postpartum, we stopped for an oil change at a place my husband frequents, where you can remain in the car while they work. The attendant, familiar with my husband but not with me, waved goodbye, saying, “See you soon, man,” then added nonchalantly, “Not you, I guess. I’ll see you after.”
My husband quickly rolled up the window while I stifled laughter, until he voiced what I was thinking: “After what?”
Some people just don’t get it.
But let’s not let the men take all the heat. A week after I gave birth to twins three years ago, I had a similar experience with a woman at the park. Our twins had arrived six weeks early, necessitating their stay in neonatal intensive care. With one of their birthdays approaching, we took our other boys out for some fresh air.
While they played, I chatted with another mother about my all-boy household. She gestured to my postpartum belly and asked, “Is this one a girl?”
“Oh, no,” I replied, laughing because I knew where this was headed. “I had twin boys six days ago. They’re in the NICU.”
She nodded, seemingly understanding, but then asked, “So, when are they due?” I had to clarify again, and she apologized profusely before making a hasty exit.
Years ago, when I first became a mother, experiences like this would have stung, given my struggles with body image and eating disorders. However, I’ve since learned an important truth: a woman’s body undergoes incredible changes during pregnancy. Those initial postpartum days don’t see an instant return to pre-pregnancy shape.
The uterus has nurtured a tiny human for nine months, and it doesn’t just shrink back overnight. This process takes time—sometimes months. For a while, we may still appear slightly pregnant, with a bump that could be mistaken for an impending arrival.
So when is it ever appropriate to assume a woman is pregnant? The answer is simple: never.
However, if you’re feeling particularly brave, here are a few signs that might suggest someone is expecting:
- She isn’t accompanied by a newborn.
- She explicitly tells you she’s pregnant.
- She doesn’t mention she just had a baby.
If you’ve checked all of the above and still have questions, there’s one last indicator to consider:
- Her belly resembles an oversized basketball, she’s noticeably waddling, and today happens to be her due date.
If those signs aren’t present, just keep your thoughts to yourself. Better safe than sorry.
For more insights on home insemination and pregnancy, check out this post on our terms and conditions. If you’re seeking reliable information on home insemination kits, Make A Mom is a fantastic resource. Additionally, for extensive information regarding genetics and IVF, the Genetics and IVF Institute is an excellent source.
In summary, navigating the complexities of postpartum bodies can be challenging, but understanding and patience are key. While assumptions about pregnancy should be avoided, recognizing the beauty of the postpartum journey is vital for both mothers and those around them.