I’m not the type of mom who stashes wine bottles in the pantry or unwinds with a joint after the kids are asleep. (And honestly, I have no judgment for those who do!) I also don’t find solace in rage cleaning, hitting the gym, or attending therapy to manage the whirlwind that is parenthood, work, and life.
Growing up, my family fell under the category of the working poor. My mother juggled three jobs while keeping our household together with a smile that often felt more like a mask. There were many winters when having a hearty meal was a luxury, and we survived on thin soups and school lunches. I vividly remember one cold day in that drafty house, feeling the gnawing hunger deep in my stomach.
At just ten years old, I didn’t have the means to prepare a meal, so I resorted to my mother’s worn copy of The Good Housekeeping Cookbook. I flipped through its glossy pages, captivated by the pictures of mouthwatering cakes and perfectly roasted meats. I imagined the sensation of those meals filling my empty belly.
That memory lingers today as I reach for a gooey cinnamon roll amidst the chaos of bedtime routines with my kids. When the week draws to a close and I’m faced with the daunting task of balancing the checkbook, I often find myself devouring half a box of grape popsicles. On particularly challenging workdays, our family dinner often becomes a pizza delivery.
I am an emotional eater.
Some might even label me as having a food addiction, and in those vulnerable moments, I wouldn’t necessarily disagree. My eating habits, driven by emotions, are far from the typical mealtime routine. Just like a glass of wine isn’t the same as a glass of water, my relationship with food serves as a temporary escape, a high that I chase. I crave the sugary rush that courses through me, bringing a fleeting sense of liveliness, or the way carbs can fill me up until I’m in a food coma.
I tend to consume food until I’m just beyond full, seeking that emotional release, and on occasion, a sense of euphoria. It’s a struggle I share with many, as research from Harvard Medical School indicates that roughly one-quarter of Americans rate their stress levels as 8 or higher on a 10-point scale. Stress is intricately tied to weight gain; short-term stress can suppress appetite, while prolonged stress releases cortisol, which boosts cravings and the desire to eat.
In this journey, figures like Jillian Michaels often inspire those like me. She encourages not just physical fitness but also emotional wellness, aiming to break the cycle of emotional eating. There have been moments during her workouts where her words about conquering emotional struggles brought me to tears; food is often my go-to coping mechanism.
For me, emotional eating fluctuates based on my stress levels. My family prioritizes health, which amplifies my guilt when I indulge in binge-eating during tough times. We emphasize fresh, locally sourced foods, ensuring our kids understand healthy portion sizes. Yet, in the quiet of the evening, when they aren’t watching, I find myself sneaking handfuls of popcorn or downing a quart of ice cream, hoping to drown out the stress.
I’m an emotional eater not due to a lack of willpower but because managing my emotions in a constructive way is a challenge. I’m neither lazy nor uninformed about healthy eating; rather, I’m navigating a tumultuous rollercoaster ride of emotions, still striving to find my balance. If you can relate, know that you’re not alone on this emotional journey.
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Summary
Emotional eating often stems from the struggle to cope with life’s stressors. Many people, myself included, find temporary relief in food during tough times. Acknowledging this pattern can be the first step toward healthier coping mechanisms. Resources are available for those seeking guidance on emotional well-being and family planning, offering support for navigating these challenges.