People often inquire, “How’s the transition into motherhood treating you?” Much like the casual exchanges we have with acquaintances about our day-to-day lives, this question often seeks a surface-level response. New moms are expected to beam with joy, maybe glance down at their little one with pride, and respond with, “It’s absolutely amazing!” before diving back into the whirlwind of daily chaos.
I understand this pressure because I’ve attempted to provide honest answers. I’ve said things like, “It’s not as overwhelming as I feared” (I was genuinely worried my life would be turned upside down). I’ve shared, “It’s challenging and exhausting, but he’s a wonderful baby” (most of the time). And I’ve even admitted, “Having no free time can feel isolating” (hard to argue with, right?). Yet, more often than not, I’m met with raised eyebrows or concerned looks, suggesting I might need professional help or a break from parenting.
Let’s get real for a second. Life with a newborn can be incredibly demanding. While it’s filled with beautiful moments—exhilarating, heartwarming, and miraculous—there’s no denying the sheer effort involved in caring for an infant. Before, our only responsibility was ourselves, and now, amidst diaper changes, late-night feedings, and sleep deprivation, we have an entire human to care for. We finally grasp the eye-rolls from mothers who heard us complain about being “busy” or “tired” in our pre-baby days.
As my son approaches his first birthday and I find myself expecting a second child (apparently, I didn’t find the experience quite miserable enough to avoid it again), I’ve learned that we mothers also need to reclaim our lives. Yes, we need time to heal and connect with our babies, but as the fog lifts and we begin to feel more like ourselves, it’s vital to carve out time for self-care. And believe me, it can be done—this comes from someone who relocated overseas, away from family and built-in support systems.
Here’s how to reconnect with yourself:
1. Don’t Hesitate to Ask for Assistance.
Begin with your partner. It doesn’t matter if they’re busy working or gaming; parenting requires teamwork. To effectively embrace your role as a mother (and perhaps primary caregiver), you need moments to catch your breath. Negotiate a few hours each week for yourself—time to do whatever you want, even if that means doing nothing.
2. Reengage with Your Passions.
Did you love to run, create art, or bake? As soon as you feel ready (and your doctor gives the okay for running), dive back in! I find time to run when my baby naps or take him along in a jogging stroller. I write, but I can’t produce freelance articles like I did pre-baby, so I journal daily. Rediscover what you loved before motherhood and make it a part of your current life, even if it’s in smaller doses.
3. Prioritize Sleep.
I know, it sounds like a tall order! But sleep is essential, particularly for moms. Babies can sleep anywhere from 11 to 18 hours a day, even if it’s not all at night. If you’re on maternity leave or at home, seize the opportunity to nap when your baby does. If you feel overwhelmed with tasks during that time, try to go to bed earlier. Consider asking your partner to take the baby on weekends or getting help from family or friends. Many new moms hesitate to reach out for fear of being seen as “lazy,” but taking advantage of sleep opportunities is crucial—your baby needs you at your best.
4. Step Outside.
The thought of taking your newborn outdoors can be daunting, especially if they’ve never left home. I had my son at home, and initially, the idea of going out felt impossible. However, after days of being cooped up, I started feeling anxious and paranoid. Once I took a walk in my neighborhood, I experienced immense relief and felt like myself again. It’s a reminder that we can navigate this world with our little ones and come back with stories to tell.
5. Don’t Use Motherhood as a Reason to Abandon Your Dreams.
This is a crucial point. Society often implies that mothers should pause their aspirations and shelve their dreams. While motherhood is undeniably hard, it shouldn’t serve as a stop sign; think of it more like a speed bump. Yes, you may need to slow down for a few months, but your dreams remain intact. We don’t encourage fathers to halt their career paths and life goals after having children, so why should mothers? Don’t limit yourself just because you’re now a mom. If you want to return to school or start a new career, pursue it. I’m a mother of a soon-to-be toddler and expecting another, and despite the questions surrounding my decision to apply for law school next year, I refuse to let those concerns derail my ambitions.
Motherhood is undoubtedly challenging, and even the strongest among us need rest and time to acclimate. Yet, it’s entirely possible to “have it all.” It may require sacrifices from the whole family and perhaps some financial adjustments, but it’s achievable.
If you’re currently navigating the transition, waking up every two hours, and questioning how you’ll find time for basic tasks like showering, remember that this phase is temporary. Life moves quickly, and while some days are filled with tears, it will pass. Hold onto your dreams and aspirations, for you are now a role model for your little one, and it’s vital to set an example for them to follow their own passions.
For more insights on this journey into motherhood, check out another one of our blog posts at Cervical Insemination. And if you’re considering at-home insemination, Make a Mom offers reliable insemination syringe kits that can make the process easier. Also, Kindbody is an excellent resource for all things related to pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary:
Transitioning into motherhood is a challenging yet rewarding experience. It’s essential for new mothers to prioritize self-care amidst the chaos of caring for a newborn. By asking for help, reconnecting with personal passions, prioritizing sleep, getting outside, and maintaining aspirations, mothers can find balance and fulfillment. Remember, this phase is temporary, and it’s vital to model the pursuit of dreams for your child.
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