Who would have thought cargo shorts would become such a source of disdain? I’ll be the first to acknowledge that my partner has significantly improved my sense of style. I transitioned from oversized clothing to tailored fits, swapped out basic t-shirts for more stylish options (because I genuinely love t-shirts!), and started wearing jeans and shoes that look sharp. I even acquired a couple of extra belts. Under my partner’s guidance—or perhaps unbeknownst to me—many of my college-era outfits were tossed aside or donated. And honestly, I’m better off for it.
Despite the occasional frustrations, marriage has made me more presentable. I’m all for taking my partner’s fashion tips, especially since I struggle with color coordination. However, like everyone, I have my boundaries. For me, it’s my beloved t-shirts; for many men, it’s their cargo shorts. Yet, that hasn’t deterred women from launching a full-scale campaign against them.
According to a recent piece in the Wall Street Journal, cargo shorts have been labeled as the ultimate fashion faux pas. From fashion aficionados to everyday women, there’s a widespread dislike for these utilitarian shorts. Golf courses have banned them, and even TV’s style expert Tim Gunn referred to them as the “least fashionable” item in his wardrobe (which raises the question: does Tim Gunn actually own cargo shorts?). The disdain runs deep, with many women wishing for a world devoid of these shorts.
One woman even admitted to secretly disposing of her husband’s cargo shorts, proclaiming, “The ‘90s had many good things, but cargo shorts were not one of them.” Let’s be real; the ‘90s weren’t all that great. Plus, cargo shorts actually have their origins in WWII, designed for functionality. After all, men don’t carry handbags, and sometimes we need pockets—especially those of us who are dads. While I personally don’t don cargo shorts, I know plenty of fathers who do, and I’ve witnessed them retrieve smoothies, pacifiers, wipes, and an array of other items from their clunky shorts. Have you ever seen a woman pull something useful out of her yoga pants? I certainly haven’t, and I’ve also never spotted a pair of cargo shorts with “JUICY” emblazoned across the back. So come on, let’s ease up a bit.
A Redbook Magazine article boldly claimed, “Cargo Shorts Are Ruining Marriages Across America.” And while I haven’t read it, I can confidently say that clothing doesn’t typically destroy marriages. However, if I ever caught my partner sporting a Yankees shirt, we might need to seek counseling!
Another woman in the Wall Street Journal article expressed her frustration: “It’s a reflection on me, like ‘How did she let him out the door like that?’” If I ever told my partner that I was ashamed of what she wore or sneakily discarded her yoga shorts, let alone one of her oversized handbags? That would definitely be a recipe for disaster in our relationship. Perhaps it’s time to stop making fun of your partner and avoid undermining their trust with sneaky actions.
Of course, I would never toss out my partner’s beloved yoga pants—not out of fear of payback, but because I actually like them! I admire how comfortable they look. If she chooses to wear them all day, more power to her. Sure, maybe a nice dress for dinner would be a good idea, but with two kids, she doesn’t need to dress up just to have a child’s grimy handprint all over her. And honestly, neither do dads.
Parenting is tough, often messy work that requires supplies—sometimes in the form of band-aids or a few stickers tucked into those bulky, multi-pocketed shorts. While they may not be the most stylish clothing choice, they serve a purpose and offer comfort. However, if your partner is sporting camouflage cargo shorts? In that case, you might want to reconsider your relationship entirely.
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In summary, cargo shorts may evoke strong feelings, but they are simply a practical solution for many dads. While fashion trends come and go, comfort and functionality should always hold a place in our wardrobes. So, let’s cut the cargo shorts some slack, and focus on what truly matters in our relationships.
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