7 Parenting Decisions I Never Thought I’d Make

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As a father of three—ages 8, 5, and just 6 months—I had a clear vision of how I wanted to parent before my children came along. However, reality has a funny way of shifting those ideals. Here are seven things I swore I’d never allow but have found myself embracing nonetheless.

1. Let Them Watch Barney: The purple dinosaur always gave me the creeps. I used to think there was something sinister about Barney, but when my kids stumbled upon him at the library, I quickly caved. Watching Barney became a temporary lifesaver during chaotic moments. It kept my toddlers entertained long enough for me to catch a breath. So, thanks, Barney; I guess you can eat all the children you want.
2. Live in a Messy Home: I remember judging the state of homes filled with children, wondering how parents could allow such chaos. Little did I know that kids are like miniature tornadoes, leaving trails of toys, crumbs, and who knows what else in their wake. Sometimes, it’s better to embrace the mess and head to the park than to turn into a cleaning dictator.
3. Allow Video Games: I’ve never been a fan of video games, and I vowed my kids wouldn’t play them. But when my son turned five and discovered their allure, I found myself in a bind. Grad school was demanding, and video games became a tool for distraction. Now, while I still don’t love them, I’ve learned to negotiate their use to my advantage. Ah, the power of a good game!
4. Eat at Fast Food Joints: I had a long list of reasons to avoid McDonald’s—horrible food, questionable characters in the mascot department, and sticky play areas that smell like they’ve seen better days. But with grandma introducing my son to Happy Meals, it was all over. Now, every dining out experience seems to end up at McDonald’s, despite my reservations. Kids have a way of getting what they want, and it’s tough to resist.
5. Tolerate a Messy Backseat: Before I had kids, I wondered if the parents of messy backseats were hoarders. Now I understand that kids don’t respect car cleanliness. The backseat often resembles a war zone, with snacks, toys, and who knows what else scattered about.
6. Endure Meltdowns in Stores: I used to judge parents struggling with unruly kids in public. Then I had my own little ones, and I quickly found out that they can be more unpredictable than drunks. One memorable trip to Target ended with my son throwing a fit that escalated to a punch in my nether regions. Kids are a work in progress, and the only way to teach them appropriate behavior is through practice—sorry to all the non-parents out there who bear witness to our training sessions.
7. Let Them Dress Themselves: I always thought my kids wouldn’t wear mismatched outfits. But when my daughter proudly emerged in a hodgepodge of clothing, I had a choice to make: either stifle her creativity or celebrate her independence. I chose the latter, and off we went to the store, her mismatched ensemble proudly on display.

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Summary

Parenthood often leads to unexpected choices and compromises. Despite my pre-parenting ideals, I’ve learned that sometimes it’s okay to cave in, whether it’s about watching Barney or embracing a little chaos. The journey of raising kids is filled with surprises, and often, the lessons come from the most unexpected places.