The unexpected request left me speechless. “I suppose I could come in this week since she’s still at the hospital,” I found myself saying, a knot tightening in my throat. My boss had called my cell while my mother and I were en route to visit my newborn daughter in the NICU.
What I had assumed was a simple check-in regarding my well-being after the early arrival of my first child turned into a demand for me to come into the office for a few hours to train my replacement. My daughter, born at 35 weeks without warning, had caught us all off guard. To complicate matters, I hadn’t even trained anyone to fill in for me during my maternity leave, and my boss hadn’t confirmed who that individual would be. Now, the team was scrambling, and I was expected to haul my one-week postpartum body, still recovering from an unexpected C-section, on a lengthy commute downtown. My emotions were in turmoil, with tears welling up at the mere thought of leaving my child, who lay in the hospital connected to tubes.
I wish I had expressed all of these concerns to him, but instead, I hung up the phone and burst into tears. Perhaps I could have understood the request if my boss didn’t have kids of his own, but he did. And he, too, had faced the emotional turmoil of having a baby in the NICU. If someone with such similar experiences could still make this request, how can we expect a broader understanding of what working mothers endure following childbirth?
It’s worth noting that my company was ahead of the curve in supporting new moms. Thanks to my tenure, I received twelve weeks of fully paid maternity leave. My employer had even covered the rental of a hospital-grade breast pump and provided a private Mother’s Room in the office long before the Affordable Care Act mandated it. They also offered an on-call lactation consultant and five days of backup daycare during the first year after childbirth. On paper, it was a fantastic workplace for new moms, and I was fortunate. Yet, this incident highlighted the significant distance still to be covered when it came to fostering a supportive culture for new mothers.
This is why I find campaigns like Mommy Bahama from the advertising agency 72andSunny particularly encouraging. This tongue-in-cheek faux e-commerce site offers whimsical postpartum products, such as mesh underwear and pumping bras. The initiative, led by creative director Tara Lawall, a working mom from their New York office, reflects a growing recognition of the business benefits of supporting new moms. I was also impressed by Kate Morrison Schermers’ recent article about her hiring experience at the company while she was 24 weeks pregnant. It’s clear they understand the importance of workplace support for mothers.
Creative ideas like Mommy Bahama and even the recent SNL skit featuring Amy Schumer shed light on the realities of childbirth, fostering dialogue and empathy for new moms among those who may not fully grasp the challenges. I recall a time early in my career when a young male coworker casually asked if our Mother’s Room was a nap space. While a napping room might have its merits, how could he understand the intricacies of pumping breast milk or the myriad challenges new moms face if we don’t cultivate more open conversations in our culture and workplaces? Even I was taken aback by some aspects of motherhood.
So, did I actually go into the office just a week after giving birth? No. I sent an email stating I couldn’t make it but was open to a phone call with the new team member. I managed to conduct the call without tears, but I never addressed the issue with my boss. In retrospect, I realize that my silence may have let down future working moms, and this story serves as my attempt to rectify that.
Let’s keep the conversation alive, ensuring that my NICU baby—now a vibrant five-year-old—grows up in a world where workplaces genuinely support their employees as both professionals and parents.
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In summary, my experience highlights the urgent need for workplaces to better understand and support new mothers in their transition back to work. Initiatives that promote open conversations and empathy are essential in creating a more inclusive environment for all parents.