After the arrival of my first child, I was eager to feel like my pre-baby self again. I had no clue what the journey of new motherhood entailed, but I was adamant about rushing back to “normal”—whatever that might mean.
It didn’t take long to realize that I wouldn’t be returning to my old self anytime soon, if at all. Nevertheless, I was determined to reclaim my sense of humanity as quickly as possible. So, I squeezed into my jeans (albeit a bit painfully), showered nearly every day, applied makeup, and even hosted guests. Whenever my baby dozed, I sat at the kitchen table, diligently writing thank-you notes for every gift we received. By the time I finished one or two, my little one would wake up from his brief 23-minute slumber, and I would be back to the demanding role of a new parent.
Frustrated but resolute, I painstakingly pushed through those thank-you notes, hoping to regain a sense of normalcy, control, and capability in my life. Yet, in the process, I was on the verge of losing my sanity. I even found myself wishing we hadn’t received any gifts simply to avoid the pressure of writing notes, which was absurd because I genuinely appreciated every present.
I nearly drove myself mad trying to fulfill this social obligation within a timeframe that felt impossible. So, I made a promise to myself: every baby gift I bought from that day forward would come with a clear exemption from the thank-you note. Now, when I send a baby gift, I include a note asking the new mom not to feel obligated to send a thank-you card.
Some new moms take me up on this offer, while others follow traditional etiquette and send handwritten notes. This leaves me pondering whether we need a more explicit and universal exemption. Perhaps every baby gift should come with a “New Mom Relief Pass.” Just imagine a certificate stating:
“I hereby grant you the New Mom Relief Pass. This pass allows you guilt-free exemptions on any non-baby-related obligations, including but not limited to:
- Thank-you notes of any kind. A simple text saying “THX” is plenty.
- Showering. Unless someone is watching your baby, then take the longest, hottest shower you can manage.
- Cleaning. Let the dishes pile up and the dust bunnies gather. Procrastination is your friend—someone else will eventually handle it.
- Wearing pants or a bra. This exemption lasts for a solid nine years, at least.
- Entertaining. If someone visits to “see the baby,” it’s your chance to nap or just relax for a brief moment.
- Applying makeup or grooming (unless you want to, of course).
- Shaving. Honestly, nothing will be happening for a while anyway.
- Cooking. Just order takeout.
- Grocery shopping? Two words: Amazon Prime.
- Anything that doesn’t involve caring for yourself and your new baby.
In essence, cut yourself some slack and let it go. You aren’t supposed to revert to your old self because you’re a new person—a mom. And for a while, you won’t act like a “normal” human being; you’re a superhuman, navigating new motherhood.
Let’s be real: new moms are doing phenomenal work—feeding, diapering, rocking, and keeping their little ones alive—all while recovering from childbirth, figuring out breast pumps, and managing the chaos of the early days. Do we really need to feel guilty about sending those thank-you notes for outfits that are already too small? Is there a need to entertain guests or make small talk? If someone drops by with a casserole and wants to see the baby, a new mom has every right to excuse herself for a much-needed nap while guests coo over the baby.
The New Mom Relief Pass is a gift every new mother would cherish. In fact, it’s almost worthy of a thank-you card in itself.
For more insights on navigating motherhood, check out this blog post. Also, if you’re considering at-home insemination options, Make A Mom offers reputable syringe kits to help you on your journey. For additional resources on pregnancy and home insemination, visit Rmany’s blog.
Summary:
The transition to motherhood is a challenging journey that often comes with overwhelming expectations. The “New Mom Relief Pass” serves as a lighthearted reminder for new moms to give themselves permission to relax, ignore societal obligations like thank-you notes, and embrace their new roles without the pressure of returning to their previous selves.
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