Dear Grandma, Grandpa, Nana, and Pop-Pop,
Thank you for stepping in to care for the little ones next week while my partner and I escape for a much-needed getaway. Your help is invaluable, but I’d like to share a few things that would really help maintain our sanity upon our return.
- No Candy Overload: Please resist the urge to turn my kids into sugar-fueled tornadoes. When we leave the house, it seems you transform into a candy distributor. If I come back to kids bouncing off the walls like they’ve swallowed a piñata, I might just lose it!
- TV Time Limits: Keeping the TV on as background noise is a big no-no. Not only is it distracting, but if they end up glued to the screen all day, they’ll come back resembling zombies. And trust me, I don’t need to deal with that.
- Stick to Approved Shows: Don’t let them watch those annoying shows that make my blood boil. If I find out they’ve become fans of Caillou or some other dreadful character, you can bet I’ll be crafting some questionable DIY gifts for you.
- Safety First: Please remember that seat belts, car seats, helmets, and other safety measures are non-negotiable. Your nostalgic stories about how you survived without these things are amusing, but I prefer my kids to be safe.
- Supervised Playtime: Sending my kids out to play for hours is not the good ol’ days. In today’s world, it’s crucial they stay supervised. We don’t want any unexpected surprises from the neighbors, trust me.
- Respect Bedtime: Bedtime is not a suggestion! Just because I’ll be adjusting to a different time zone doesn’t mean the kids should too. It’s not the right time for movies or sundaes two hours after bedtime!
- School is Important: Please don’t let them skip school or their activities. It may seem like a fun treat, but missing out on learning is not a vacation for them; it’s a setback.
- No New Toys: When I return, I do not want to find a collection of whistles, instruments, or any new pets that weren’t there before. If you feel compelled to gift them something, how about something practical instead?
- Emergency Contacts Matter: When I hand you the list of emergency contacts, please take it seriously. In case of an emergency, knowing how to reach the pediatrician quickly is critical.
- Keep Communication Open: If the kids express they miss us, don’t tell them they can’t reach out. Let them use the iPad to Skype us. I want them to feel connected, not isolated.
That’s it for now! Enjoy your time with the kids, and remember, one day we might get to pick your retirement home!
Love,
The Parents
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In summary, while your help is greatly appreciated, following these guidelines will ensure that my kids and your grandparenting experience remain enjoyable!
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