My eldest daughter Mia is not yet three, and let me tell you, she’s remarkable. She unapologetically occupies her space, regardless of any temporary disturbances she may cause, like letting out a little gas in public. No big deal! But the other day, something concerning happened: “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she blurted out, and I was taken aback. As a well-meaning feminist still finding my way, I couldn’t help but think, “What have I done wrong?”
In that moment, she dashed over to her younger sister, playfully smacked her on the face, and then twirled away to the fridge, asking, “Mom, can I have a yogurt drink?” It hit me that her “I’m sorry” was less about genuine remorse and more of a verbal habit she had picked up—much like the time I embarrassingly recounted a stomach issue to my husband, only to have her sing “Diarrhea, diarrhea!” in the grocery store aisles.
What truly concerns me is the possibility that I’ve inadvertently taught her to conform to a culture where women feel compelled to apologize for everything. The phrase “I’m sorry” has become a default response, akin to fillers like “Um” or “Ah.” It’s pervasive to see women throw in apologies during conversations, presentations, or even casual interactions, as if they owe an explanation for their existence. I catch myself doing this too, and whenever I do, I remind myself: “You have nothing to apologize for; own your space!”
Comedian Lisa Chen once tackled this issue brilliantly in a sketch where accomplished women found themselves caught in a cycle of apologies while discussing their expertise. It was a hilarious yet poignant observation of the internalized sexism that persists in our society.
Why Do Women Apologize More Than Men?
Research indicates that women often perceive themselves as more likely to offend others, leading them to feel an obligation to apologize. But let’s take a step back. Are women truly more misbehaved than men? Statistically, it’s evident that they are not—men outnumber women in incarceration rates by about ten to one.
When we look at the social level, studies suggest that women tend to exhibit more altruistic and compassionate behavior than their male counterparts, often displaying greater concern for others’ feelings. This heightened awareness can lead women to prioritize the needs of those around them over their own.
This societal norm encourages women to constantly evaluate how they affect others, leading to a tendency to apologize even when it’s unnecessary. The reality is, my daughter wasn’t actually sorry; she was mimicking a behavior she observed in adults, possibly me. Thankfully, she hasn’t internalized this notion yet, but it’s a wake-up call for me to do better.
Empowering Ourselves and Our Daughters
We need to make a collective effort to empower ourselves and the women in our lives—our daughters, friends, and colleagues. It’s essential to claim our space, uplift one another, and challenge the social constructs that suggest women should minimize their presence.
So, what does this look like in practice? The next time I’m in a public place, perhaps I should stand confidently and announce, “Yes, I do have diarrhea; I’m a person, and it happens to all of us!” Or maybe I could simply challenge myself to say “not sorry” every time I feel the urge to apologize.
Women who defy societal expectations often create discomfort, but what if I stopped apologizing for my existence and instead embraced my true self? I believe I could achieve incredible things, and I hope that Mia remains as strong and confident as she is today.
For more insights on navigating motherhood and self-empowerment, check out this related article here. And if you’re considering at-home insemination, look into this reputable retailer for quality syringe kits. For more information on pregnancy and home insemination, this resource is quite helpful: MedlinePlus.
In summary, it’s crucial to recognize the damaging effects of over-apologizing and to empower ourselves and our daughters to confidently own our space in the world.
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