As a parent, I often recall the public service announcement from the 1970s that asked, “It’s 10 p.m., do you know where your children are?” In today’s digital age, I believe we need to update this question to, “Do you know where your children’s devices are?”
Recently, I had to take away my 12-year-old daughter’s iPhone after she broke our household rule of using it past bedtime. While I understand the allure of late-night gaming (believe me, I’ve been there!), her reaction was alarming. She was unusually desperate to shut down her phone before handing it over, which raised my suspicions.
Thinking back to my own childhood, I remember how protective I was of my diary. This led me to believe that my daughter might be hiding something. Perhaps she had made an impulsive purchase or exceeded her talk time? Those were the only missteps I could imagine for a girl who excels academically and has friends I trust.
When I insisted she share her phone password, I stumbled into a disturbing realm of content that would make even adult film stars blush—if they had a tween daughter, of course. Among her texts were messages from friends discussing which boys had danced with them at the last school event. Even more troubling were group chats involving games like “F***, Marry, Kill,” in which boys rated my daughter’s friends in shocking ways. It’s hard to believe that this was all happening among 12-year-olds.
The most alarming find was an app called Ask.fm, which my daughter had downloaded despite the age restriction of 13. This platform allows for anonymous questions and comments, and while it can be fun, it often becomes a breeding ground for bullying and harassment. On her phone, it was primarily used for inappropriate sexual inquiries.
Requests for “PAP” (that’s “Post a Picture,” for those unfamiliar) involving nudity were rampant, and I was horrified by the language I encountered. I even had to consult the urban dictionary to decipher some of the acronyms used. Moreover, I discovered middle school boys ranking girls based on inappropriate criteria—reminding me how innocent our childhood games were.
When I confronted my daughter with evidence of her involvement, she dismissed my concerns as an overreaction, claiming that “all her friends” were engaging in similar behavior. The anonymity that these apps provide can strip kids of accountability, making it difficult for parents to determine if their child is involved in such activities.
When I mentioned contacting the parents of the other children involved, my daughter panicked. She feared being labeled a snitch and facing bullying herself. After some consideration, I realized that the anonymity could work in our favor. I decided to send an anonymous email to the parents listed in the school directory, alerting them about the concerning behavior I had discovered on my daughter’s phone.
Will this approach be effective? Only time will tell. However, as a parent who was blissfully unaware just days ago, I would appreciate receiving such a heads-up, whether anonymous or not. For those interested in learning more about parenting in the digital age, check out this post on Modern Family Blog. Additionally, if you’re considering fertility options, visit this reputable site for at-home insemination kits.
In summary, navigating the dangers of technology with our tweens is a daunting task. It’s crucial for us as parents to stay vigilant and aware of what our children are engaging with online.
Leave a Reply