Parenting
Updated: Sep. 21, 2020
Originally Published: Feb. 5, 2016
You were a surprise, a twist of fate during my teenage years that altered my entire existence. It may sound harsh, but it’s the truth—an often unspoken reality of unplanned pregnancies. I simply wasn’t prepared to be a mother. In fact, I wasn’t even ready to embrace adulthood when you arrived.
At just 18, I was suddenly responsible for a tiny human being. I was expected to nourish you, soothe you, shield you from harm, and lay the groundwork for you to grow into a man of integrity and virtue. Honestly, I wasn’t even sure I could keep you alive!
My youthful mind struggled to comprehend the immense responsibility of motherhood. My stubborn and determined nature (yes, you definitely inherited that from me) wouldn’t let me acknowledge my fears, so I jumped headfirst into this parenting journey.
I wish I could tell you that your conception was born from love or that your father was as eager for you as I was. I wish I could say that, despite our unpreparedness, we prepared for your arrival as I watched my belly expand. But the reality is that your father wanted nothing to do with our life. My tenacious spirit kicked in, and I accepted the fact that I was on my own. By the second month of my pregnancy, I had lost all contact with him. I became just another statistic—a teenage single mom.
It didn’t take long for me to grow up. Through sleepless nights, endless laundry, doctor’s appointments, and baby-proofing the house, I transformed from a careless teen into a dedicated, selfless mother. We faced struggles together, overcoming significant obstacles. Many nights were spent on the floor, your cries echoing mine as I held you, desperately trying to calm you. I often had to choose between paying the rent and buying groceries. I worked multiple jobs and long hours, often away from you. There were moments of heartbreak and frustration, exhaustion and desperation—but through it all, there was never doubt in my mind: we would persevere. Failure wasn’t an option.
Yet, it hasn’t all been hardships. You bring immense joy and excitement to my life. Your innocent perspective on the world is both inspiring and motivating. I’ve watched you absorb knowledge and grow, and I’ve had to step back as life taught you its own lessons. I’ve seen you develop into a little man, with your own thoughts, traits, and personality. I’ve looked at you with tear-filled eyes, overwhelmed with pride as your mother. I’ve played, laughed, read to you, and worried whenever you boarded the school bus. I’ve wiped away your tears, kissed your scrapes, chased away monsters, and cared for you during illnesses.
You are my world, and I have been your mom.
I wasn’t prepared for this journey. You arrived without any manuals or guidelines, simply filled with trust and love. Not every day is perfect—struggles and challenges still arise. I’m far from a flawless parent, just as you’re not a perfect child. We’ve mastered the art of apologies and hugs. Yet, every night, just before I fall asleep, I worry that I may be doing it all wrong and leaving emotional scars. I can only wonder what path my life would have taken without you or if I would ever have been ready for motherhood. What I do know is that you have shown me the meaning of love and given my life purpose. I’ve prioritized being your parent and caring for you above all else, striving to be the best mom I can be each day.
This year, you turned 9. You’ve developed a crush on a girl in your class and are grappling with multiplication. You’ve joined a local wrestling league and need glasses now. You are incredibly bright, love being the center of attention, and have a knack for making others laugh. I am so proud of your kindness, generosity, and honesty. You’ve become quite social, often surrounded by friends.
In my eyes, I’m the luckiest mom in the world. I wasn’t ready for motherhood or for you, but I think I’ve managed quite well so far. After all, I’ve kept you alive!
For more insights into parenting and unplanned pregnancies, check out this blog post. If you’re considering at-home options, I recommend visiting Make a Mom for reliable insemination syringe kits. Additionally, the CDC provides excellent resources on pregnancy and home insemination.
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