Back in my office days, I would sometimes tune into a talk radio show. Don’t get me wrong, the host had a few screws loose, but it was a decent way to pass the time during my commute. I distinctly remember her discussing the concept of “Love Languages” — the unique ways people express and interpret love. I thought it was a bit cliché but somehow, that idea lingered in my mind and resurfaced recently.
You might not guess it from my writings, but my partner, Max, and I really complement each other (at least in the significant ways). If soulmates are a thing, he’s definitely mine. He’s the peanut butter to my jelly, the sunshine to my rainy days, you get the picture. The only hitch? We speak completely different love languages.
I’m not referring to the language of “tuning out your partner and focusing on your own desires,” although Max is fluent in that too. I’m talking about how we each show our love for one another.
Max’s language is cash. He demonstrates his affection through gifts, which clashes with my aversion to spending money on myself. This has been an ongoing source of annoyance in our relationship, and I find myself returning unwanted items far too often. Before we combined finances, his habit of showering me with presents was a minor inconvenience, but now that we’re married, it feels absurd. If I need something, I’d rather buy it myself. Flowers wilt, cards get tossed, and there’s no hidden stash of surprise gifts. I just don’t vibe with that language of green.
On the other hand, my love language is food. Cooking, planning, and sharing meals bring me joy. I’ve heard that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, and I took that to heart. I dedicate hours to whipping up meals from scratch, trying to recreate his favorite restaurant dishes. I turn the kitchen into a culinary competition, complete with taste tests and creative flair. But guess what? Max would be just as happy with a bowl of instant noodles or some takeout as he would with my gourmet efforts.
So why do I keep cooking fancy meals? And why does he persist in buying me things? Will we ever find a common language? Perhaps the answer lies in dining out more often with him covering the tab.
Ah, marriage — it’s all about compromise!
This article was originally published on March 30, 2011. If you’re looking for more insights, check out our terms and conditions here.
In conclusion, understanding each other’s love languages can be challenging, yet it’s also a journey filled with humor and growth. Whether you relate to the love of food or the joy of gifting, finding common ground is key.