Dear Future Mom,
First off, congratulations on the little miracle growing inside you! I hope the morning sickness has been manageable and those delightful baby kicks are bringing you joy.
Recently, during our chat—your baby bump and my toddler in tow—you mentioned feeling overwhelmed by the endless stream of advice from seasoned moms. I must admit, your words stung a bit, especially after sharing some of my top newborn tips. But then I paused and remembered my own journey. Not long ago, I was the first-time mom, feeling bombarded by unsolicited advice from those who had already walked the path. I longed for just a simple “Congratulations” without the added commentary.
Now, having experienced both sides, I want to extend a sincere apology: From all the already-moms to you, the soon-to-be moms, I’m sorry.
I’m sorry for the unsolicited advice.
I understand how irksome it can be to receive tips from strangers. When I was pregnant, I wished I could venture out without someone in the store or park sharing their “wisdom” on feeding or sleep routines. But now I see it differently. We already-moms recognize that baby bump and remember vividly what lies ahead. We want to share the joy and love, but we also want to prepare you for the challenges of new motherhood. Our advice, though sometimes annoying, comes from a place of genuine care. We wish someone had shared the gold nuggets of wisdom that made our early months easier—like how a vacuum cleaner can calm a fussy baby or that a pacifier won’t ruin nursing.
I’m sorry for sharing our birth stories.
I know how nerve-wracking the thought of giving birth can be. Hearing “tearing,” “stitches,” and “never the same” doesn’t help! When we recount our experiences, we only want to help, even if the details sound terrifying. I remember asking a mom friend why she downplayed her labor, only to learn it hurt like crazy! Yes, it’s painful, but the moment you hold your little one, you’ll realize every second of discomfort was worth it.
I’m sorry for repeating the same questions and fawning over every detail of your pregnancy.
What’s your due date? Is it a boy or a girl? Nursery theme? I know it can feel tedious to answer these questions repeatedly. When we engage, it’s often because it reminds us of our own pregnancies and the nostalgia of our little ones’ early days.
I’m sorry for scoffing at your parenting goals.
You might have already encountered skepticism when sharing your plans to raise your child screen-free or make all their baby food. It can feel dismissive, but we’re usually trying to convey that priorities shift once the baby arrives. You start with grand intentions, but the reality of parenting often means adapting those plans. If you find yourself bending those rules, know we’ve all been there, and we’ll share a laugh over our “I-will-never” proclamations.
I’m sorry for asking overly personal questions.
When we inquire about your dilation progress or breastfeeding intentions, it’s our way of welcoming you into the motherhood club. It might feel intrusive now, but trust me, in just a few weeks, you’ll find yourself discussing diaper contents and postpartum recovery with friends. Motherhood encourages you to shed modesty, and those questions are a sign of acceptance into our community.
I’m sorry for suggesting you sleep now.
When we tell you to relax and enjoy your last peaceful moments, it can come off as annoying. But trust me, life is about to change in ways you can’t imagine. Take this time to savor your pregnancy before the whirlwind of motherhood begins.
So, to all the soon-to-be moms out there, I apologize. I’m sorry for the advice, the stories, and the well-meaning but sometimes irritating comments. I promise to be more mindful in the future, and I hope you’ll remember that our intentions are rooted in love and experience. You have an incredible journey ahead, filled with joy, love, and challenges. Next time I see you, I’ll take a breath and simply say, “Congratulations.”
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Summary
This article offers an apology from experienced mothers to expectant moms, acknowledging the unsolicited advice and personal questions that can feel overwhelming. It emphasizes the well-meaning intentions behind these interactions and encourages soon-to-be moms to embrace the journey ahead while reminding them that they are not alone.
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