20 Reasons Why This Mom Is Opting for a Cozy Night In

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Let’s be honest, my 30s are a far cry from the thrill of my 20s. Sure, every day with kids brings a different kind of excitement—usually sticky! While my younger self might have reveled in a spontaneous mountain biking adventure after work, last week’s highlight was dashing after a potty-training toddler, hoping to avert disaster on the couch. After a long day, the last thing I crave is a night out. These days, heading out feels like an uphill battle. Here are 20 reasons why a mom’s night out—whether solo or with my partner—just isn’t happening tonight:

1. Finding a babysitter who can outsmart my toddlers is like searching for a unicorn.
2. My only pair of heels has been gathering dust since my first child was born.
3. The messy bun look isn’t trending like it used to be.
4. The thought of going out sounds great; the reality feels like a chore.
5. Most of my shoes have been taken over by a crew of tiny My Little Ponies.
6. My good jeans have become a relic of the past thanks to my four-year postpartum muffin top.
7. There’s a Shark Tank marathon on, and who can resist that?
8. I’m simply exhausted.
9. It’s my partner’s turn to handle bath time, and I’m looking forward to a quiet moment of blissful silence—at least until the inevitable flood of bathwater requires my help.
10. Getting out of the house feels like organizing a covert mission to avoid detection by the kids.
11. Slippers are definitely not considered appropriate for a night out.
12. We’ve forgotten how to enjoy a meal without someone crawling under the table.
13. There’s an entire obstacle course of toys, clothes, and crumbs to navigate just to reach the garage.
14. In my house, wine is $4 a bottle instead of per glass!
15. When we ask family for a few hours of babysitting, they suddenly develop “plague-like” symptoms.
16. Most of my makeup has mysteriously vanished, with only a few remnants lurking in the crayon box.
17. Olive Garden doesn’t provide fleece blankets and couches for their patrons.
18. My partner fell asleep during a riveting reading of Go, Dog Go!
19. We’ve forgotten what it’s like to eat warm food while sitting down.
20. By 7:45 p.m., I’m already snuggled up in my pajamas.

Someday, I might find the energy for a mom’s night out again. But tonight, it’s all about Shark Tank reruns, popcorn, and boxed wine. Plus, I think I just sat in someone’s pee.

If you’re looking for more insights into the ups and downs of motherhood, check out this post on Cervical Insemination, which offers some great perspectives. And if you’re considering at-home insemination options, Make a Mom has reputable kits that might help. For those navigating the world of pregnancy and home insemination, WebMD is an excellent resource.

In summary, life as a mom often means choosing the comfort of home over the chaos of a night out. We find joy in the little moments—even if they come with a side of unexpected messes.