17 Unproductive Ways I Spent My Free Time Before Becoming a Parent

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Updated: June 9, 2017
Originally Published: Jan. 14, 2016

Have you ever pondered what you did with your free time before kids took over your life? I find myself asking this quite often, especially when I’m lying in bed at night, mentally running through my to-do list that never seems to get any shorter. Free time feels like a distant memory, almost like a word from a language I can’t comprehend. What is this “free time” you speak of? Is it a Scandinavian term?

Even on the rare occasions when both of my little tornadoes are napping, I’m stuck tackling chores like doing the dishes or laundry. Between the remnants of last night’s dinner and my own personal hygiene, there’s always something that demands my attention. What joy!

Looking back on the time I had before parenthood, it’s almost laughable to think of how I spent those hours. I remember sitting on the couch, sipping wine, and observing dust particles dance in the sunlight while I daydreamed. Ah, the struggles of those days!

Here are some of the amusing activities that filled my time before I embraced the chaotic world of motherhood:

1. Painting My Nails – I could once sit still for an hour, letting my nails dry. Now, I can’t even manage to sit down long enough to use the restroom, let alone wait for polish to set.
2. Styling My Hair – My round brush, once a tool for curling my hair, now serves as a toy for my 11-month-old, who prefers brushing the carpet instead.
3. Spray Tanning – I used to walk around in my underwear, avoiding contact until the tan dried. If I tried that now, my kids would surely find a way to give themselves “skin conditions” before I was done.
4. Trimming Split Ends – I used to meticulously trim my hair one strand at a time. Now, my children seem to do the job for me by pulling it out!
5. Hand-Washing Delicates – I now wash my kids, myself, and the fancy dishes, and honestly, I’ve given up on the concept of delicates.
6. Organizing Everything Alphabetically – Books, DVDs, you name it; they were all neatly arranged. It’s funny how kids can cure even the mildest case of OCD.
7. Ironing Baby Clothes – While pregnant with my first child, I ironed every single piece of baby clothing. I thought it would be an ongoing routine. What was I thinking?
8. Ironing Anything – These days, wrinkled clothes are the norm. If it’s absolutely necessary, I might visit the dry cleaner.
9. Swapping Wire for Wooden Hangers – I spent two full days exchanging all our hangers. Now, I just throw clothes in baskets and don’t stress about wrinkles.
10. Cooking Elaborate Meals – I used to enjoy making meals that took longer than 45 minutes. Now, the microwave is my best friend for quick dinners.
11. Listening to Music While Applying Makeup – Nowadays, my bathroom soundtrack consists of my 2½-year-old belting out the Mickey Mouse theme while chaos reigns.
12. Engaging in Fancy Face Treatments – I’ve simplified my beauty routine to cleanser and moisturizer. That’s my new “glam” look.
13. Morning Stretches and Meditation – My stretching now consists of reaching for a clean coffee mug, and I meditate over glasses of wine at the end of the day.
14. Sleeping In – Oh, the luxury of sleeping in! It feels like a concept from another lifetime.
15. Going to the Movies – Now, seeing a movie is a well-planned event. We’re looking forward to Star Wars on Friday, and I’m praying no one gets sick!
16. Organizing Grocery Lists – I need an organized grocery list now more than ever, yet I still end up zig-zagging the store with a hastily written list.
17. Filming My Dog – I used to record my dog, thinking she was the highlight of my life. Little did I know that I’d be watching videos of my kids giggling at each other instead.

While I may have traded in these seemingly “important” activities for the beautiful chaos of motherhood, I’ve gained priceless moments. Just yesterday, I spent an hour working on puzzles with my kids, hearing my son come up with hilarious phrases and watching my daughter take her first steps. These are the moments I cherish now, far more significant than any of my former pastimes.

So, maybe I don’t miss those 17 activities after all. Frankly, I never really liked face masks anyway.

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Summary

In this reflective piece, I explore the amusing and seemingly pointless ways I spent my free time before becoming a parent. From beauty routines to leisurely activities, I realize that motherhood has filled my life with far more meaningful moments that outweigh any past indulgences.