Last night, I received a message from a friend, Sarah, who was feeling overwhelmed and frustrated: “I’m done with everything and everyone.” We don’t talk often, but we reach out when life gets tough. She’s juggling a 5-year-old and a 9-month-old, and the struggle is real.
“Am I a terrible parent for wanting to give my kids away?” she asked. “My oldest won’t stop whining, and my youngest is always crying. I think I’m losing it.” I replied, “Absolutely. You’re a bad parent, and you’re not alone on this ‘bad parent bus’—I’m the driver. Honestly, would you really want to be on the good-parenting bus with someone who can’t admit their kids can be awful?”
While her husband was in the living room watching TV with their older child, the baby was in the crib, crying. I advised her to “scream into a pillow, lie on the sidewalk, and just look at the sky. You deserve it. Have a drink; it’s well-earned.”
Eventually, I switched to a phone call. “Let it all out,” I said. She vented, “I’m so exhausted. I know this stage won’t last forever, but the whining is unbearable, and I feel like I’m failing both of them.” As she spoke, I realized how far I’d come and that I was now the listener, not the one venting.
Her words hit home. “I remember it all too well,” I thought. “It’s a blur, but I can relate.” I recounted my coping mechanisms: blogging, the occasional guilty pleasure, and yes, even a cigarette or two after the kids went to bed. It was a moment of rebellion that felt, if only for a minute, like a little piece of me amidst the chaos of parenting.
As we talked, I realized I had survived the storm of toddlerhood, and it was refreshing to share that perspective. “Things do get easier,” I told her, “Even if that means 18 months of chaos. You’re at the beginning of what I’ve already navigated.”
I acknowledged that parenting is still a challenge—like herding cats or negotiating with a stubborn toddler. There are still sleepless nights and tears over a missing pacifier (trust me, I’m not the one crying). But, the reality is, I’ve entered a phase where things feel slightly more manageable.
It was eye-opening to be on this side of the conversation. I told Sarah, “I know it feels like a never-ending battle, but trust me, you will get through it. I can’t recall every detail, but I know I made it, and so will you.”
So, as I sit here reflecting on my own journey, I think it’s time for a drink. After all, I’ve earned it!
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In summary, while parenting presents its relentless challenges, it does get easier. Embrace the chaos, lean on your friends, and know that you are not alone in this journey.
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