Dear Sophia,
I sincerely hope that I never need to share this letter with you. My wish is to instill in you a strong sense of self-worth before insecurities start to loom large. I hope you always strive to find beauty in everyone and everything, especially within yourself.
I hope that no boy ever makes you feel the need to shed 20 pounds, and that no salesperson convinces you that beauty requires a layer of makeup. I never want to hear you utter the words, “I’m too fat” or “I’m too ugly.” It’s my hope that self-criticism doesn’t become a part of your daily routine.
This is your 28-year-old mama speaking, just seven months after your birth, as I navigate my own relationship with my post-pregnancy body. In theory, I understand that I still look fine. I keep reminding myself that my body is beautiful for having carried you for nine months and for nourishing you since. Yet, each time I look in the mirror, I sometimes feel defeated. On particularly rough days, it can feel like I’m crumbling.
You see, I’ve always battled with insecurities about my appearance. Before I became pregnant, I had easy ways to mask my doubts—crash diets for bloating, salon visits to refresh my look. Quick fixes were always at my fingertips. But pregnancy has a way of bringing those insecurities to the forefront. No outfit can disguise a 15 (or maybe even 20 or 25?) pound weight gain, and no cream can erase those angry red stretch marks.
Honestly, I’m weary of my own insecurities. It’s draining to constantly compare myself to others. There’s always someone who appears prettier, younger, or simply better. There’s always that one mom who seems to have it all together—thin, radiant, the epitome of a “perfect” mother.
I dread the thought that you might pick up on my self-doubt, noticing the way I grimace when I step on the scale or how I sift through countless outfits just to find one that hides my stomach. How can I teach you about beauty when I’m still grappling with my own acceptance?
In this vulnerable state, I reflect on what I truly want to convey to you about beauty and our bodies. As your mother, I regard this as one of the most significant challenges in raising you, my precious daughter.
You have no idea how much you’ve been helping me combat my negative self-talk. The way you look at me—I feel like I hung the moon. I’ll use that love as a foundation for building a positive self-image, so that when you someday inquire about weight, beauty, flaws, and insecurities, I can respond with sincerity and love.
My wish for you is to embrace life fully—to avoid missing moments simply because you feel you “don’t look good.” Dive into sports, martial arts, or dance. Build sandcastles in your swimsuit. Savor the mouthwatering fried chicken that your father prepares just for you. Don’t stress when the scale tips up a pound. Accept compliments graciously and let yourself believe them. My love, these are the lessons I need to learn for myself right now, and mastering them is the best way to guide you.
If the day comes when I must share this letter with you, I hope it’s to help you understand that not all women feel confident about their bodies. I hope you grow to be strong enough to uplift other women. Always seek the beauty in those around you. Don’t view them as competition; instead, support them as you’re slowly lifting me.
Thank you, and know that my love for you is everlasting.
With love,
Mommy
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Summary:
In this heartfelt letter, a mother shares her hopes and insecurities with her daughter, emphasizing the importance of self-acceptance and the dangers of comparing oneself to others. She reflects on her struggles with body image and aims to teach her daughter to embrace life and beauty without fear. The letter serves as a reminder of the lasting impact of self-love and support among women.
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