Let’s be real for a moment. We all know your child didn’t craft that intricate model of the solar system all by themselves, so there’s no need to pretend otherwise. And that meticulously printed campaign poster for the third-grade class election? Seriously? You do realize your child was supposed to create that using classroom supplies, right?
Teachers have a tough job, and it must be frustrating for them to evaluate assignments when they suspect that parents are doing all the heavy lifting. They can usually tell within moments if a child has genuinely contributed to their work or merely scribbled their name at the bottom. These educators know our kids well and can easily spot discrepancies in their skill levels. So, what leads some parents to think they can mask this?
I don’t understand parents who tackle their children’s homework. Isn’t the purpose of sending kids to school to nurture independent thinkers? School is meant to be a space where they can exercise their brains and grow in a culture of learning. How can they do that if you’re taking over their assignments?
When I was in elementary school, we had a project on levers and pulleys. It was the one time my mom offered to assist with my schoolwork, and she rushed to the store to gather supplies. Then, she whisked me off to the garage where we built the project together. As a child, I was thrilled to receive her undivided attention, and when she took charge of the project, I didn’t stop her. Sure, I ended up with an A+, but what did I really learn that day? Just how controlling my mother could be. The product of her efforts still sits in our garage today.
It’s counterproductive to “help” by completely taking over. Children will mess up and color outside the lines. They might procrastinate and forget about deadlines, but they need to learn to manage these responsibilities themselves. While the urge to help them succeed is natural, giving them the answers isn’t a win—it’s disheartening.
When you sign those hospital discharge papers after welcoming your newborn, there’s immense pride in that moment. In their first year, your baby requires gentle guidance and unconditional love. But as they grow, they’ll increasingly rely less on you, which can be a tough adjustment. It’s instinctive for parents to finish their kids’ sentences or simplify problems for an easier solution, but how does that prepare them for independence?
My son attends an incredible school with ambitious goals. We chose this program because of its small class sizes and innovative approach to learning, and we feel privileged to be part of their mission. However, sometimes I feel uneasy when I see parents hovering too closely. It makes me want to shake them and tell them to step back, but their unwillingness to let go is alarming.
In one of the hallways of the school, there’s a mirrored wall where teachers share motivational quotes. At the beginning of the year, one teacher wrote, “The sky is the limit,” only for a student to respond, “Why do I need a limit?” When you push the boundaries of a child’s potential, you’ll realize that the only limits that exist are the ones set at home. Maybe it’s time to rethink your approach.
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In summary, it’s important to allow our children to tackle their homework and responsibilities independently. While the desire to assist is understandable, doing the work for them ultimately hinders their growth. Let’s encourage them to explore their potential and learn from their mistakes.
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