After welcoming my little one into the world, I assumed I’d be a pro in the bedroom. After all, I had successfully birthed a child, so how hard could it be to jump back into intimacy? But once the baby arrived, I quickly realized that not only was I saying goodbye to sleep and my pre-pregnancy wardrobe, but I was also waving farewell to any confidence I had in my sexual life.
No one prepared me for this. It felt like I was transported back to my teenage years, fumbling around awkwardly as if I were experiencing everything for the first time again. Who knew that having a baby would effectively make me feel like a born-again virgin? Seriously, I want to lodge a complaint with whoever penned those parenting books. They completely overlooked the reality of navigating sex after childbirth, leaving me in shock.
Countless friends echoed my sentiments, and we all agreed that a new chapter is desperately needed in those parenting manuals—one that explains how your sex life can feel like a time warp back to your high school days. So, after some much-needed wine and possibly indulging in a whole tray of brownies, I’m here to share insights on this topic, since my friends were too shy to attach their names to a discussion about their vaginas.
1. Will It Hurt?
The notion that giving birth loosens everything down there? A myth. Whoever suggested that clearly never endured an episiotomy. I still have a vivid memory of my doctor stitching me up while she winked and mentioned something about a “husband stitch.” I mean, really? After delivering a baby, we’re already talking about making things tighter for the next round of intimacy?
Fast forward to six weeks postpartum, and I was a bundle of nerves, fearing that the first time back in the saddle would be painful. I kept thinking, “What if I’m too tight?” Regardless of stitches or not, we women remember the sensation of childbirth, and it’s hard to forget while we’re nursing our new little ones and healing. So, here I was, preparing to reintroduce something into my body again—this was definitely reminiscent of my very first time. Cue the lube. Lots of it. Just like the first go-around.
2. I Have No Clue What I’m Doing
Sure, I had enough knowledge to end up in this postpartum situation, but everything now feels so different. It’s not bad, but it’s certainly not the same—just new. It’s like I’ve been gifted a brand-new vagina, and I’m clueless about how to navigate it.
And let’s not forget that my partner is just as bewildered, trying to figure out what to do with my new curves, which now include larger breasts that are unexpectedly producing milk. It’s like reliving those awkward teenage moments all over again.
3. Quick, Hide! Someone Is Coming!
Remember that feeling of being a teenager, eager to explore intimacy but limited in options? The postpartum phase feels remarkably similar. Suddenly, you’re on a time crunch, racing against the clock before the baby wakes up. “We have five minutes! Quick, not the bedroom, the baby will hear us! Not the couch, the toddler will see us! How about the car? The backseat will work!”
It’s a strange realization to wait so long for the freedom to enjoy a physical connection, only to have it dictated by a tiny human who measures a mere 21 inches.
4. Where Did My Self-Confidence Go?
For many of us, we were in relationships long before becoming parents. Yet, post-baby, it can feel like the lights have dimmed. The body I once shared with my partner transformed into a life-giving vessel, and after the baby arrived, I wasn’t quite sure what to make of the aftermath.
Most of us are left feeling disoriented in our postpartum bodies. Everything seems to jiggle, and it feels like I’m meeting a stranger in the mirror. Sure, my partner may say they love the new me, but this is an awkward getting-to-know-you phase, and we all know how uncomfortable that can be.
5. I’m Falling in Love With You Again
Let’s be frank: the person you created your baby with looks different now—not just physically. You’re navigating a new emotional landscape together, and witnessing your partner care for your little one brings on a wave of feelings.
You know that exhilarating sensation of falling in love? Well, you get to experience that all over again as parents. Postpartum intimacy is a wild ride, echoing the awkwardness of your very first experience. Yet, there’s something incredibly special about reconnecting with someone you love all over again.
In summary, postpartum sex can feel strikingly similar to that initial experience of intimacy. It’s a rollercoaster of emotions, new sensations, and a rediscovery of your body and relationship. If you’re seeking more resources, check out this excellent guide on pregnancy and home insemination at WomensHealth.gov, or consider visiting Make A Mom for reputable home insemination syringe kits. You can also dive deeper into related topics on our blog here.
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