“Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.” – The Velveteen Rabbit
There was a time when I was a young woman with plenty of free time, flowing hair, and without a worry in the world. I felt fortunate, but paradoxically, I still found reasons to stress.
Now, as I reflect on those years, I consider myself wiser, having navigated the challenges of motherhood with three children, sleepless nights, and overwhelming hormonal shifts. The reality of being responsible for another human being is immense. I’ve discovered that sometimes, you just have to embrace the philosophy of “let it go,” like Elsa. Life has a way of working itself out if you relinquish control. My anxieties about how to tackle life’s complexities have eased, and while I might raise my voice more often than before, I’ve learned not to sweat the small stuff.
If I could reach back and share wisdom with my younger self, I would impart these four key lessons:
1. It’s Okay to Take a Breather.
Striving for excellence is commendable, but it’s equally important to recognize that failure is part of the journey. You might forget your child’s special day at school, leading to tears and remorse. But guess what? Forgiveness is a beautiful thing, especially from your kids. One day you’ll master lunch prep, and on another, you’ll marvel at how you managed to keep all the beds clean. Life has its highs and lows, but they tend to balance out, so learn to forgive yourself.
2. Your Marriage Will Flourish.
The clichés about marriage hold some truth. Yes, fatigue and crankiness will set in, and you’ll find yourselves navigating a minivan life filled with gymnastics and dance classes. You might argue over differing parenting styles and wonder why he chews so loudly. There will be moments of resentment, especially during those long maternity leaves when you feel your world has shifted while his has not. Yet, he will continue to surprise you. He’ll cook, pack lunches, and read stories with enthusiasm. You’ll share moments of laughter that leave you breathless, even when you’re both exhausted. Cherish these times; you’re fortunate to have a supportive partner.
3. Acceptance is Key—Your Body Will Change.
Get ready for a new reality; your body will evolve in ways you can’t predict. You’ll find yourself staring in disbelief at your reflection, reminiscing about your pre-baby self. There’s no sense in dwelling on those old photos. Embrace the changes, knowing your body has performed miraculous feats. And don’t worry—your partner will continue to appreciate you, no matter what.
4. Savor Every Moment, Even the Tough Ones.
Life is a series of phases, and the challenging days will pass, often quicker than you realize. It’s hard to find joy in the midst of chaos, but when you reflect back, it’s the silly moments that stand out. Laugh with your children, build blanket forts, allow them the occasional treat, and say yes more than no. Capture these memories in pictures, hold hands with your partner, and cherish time with loved ones. Life can be extraordinary if you let it unfold naturally.
Above all, remember that life is a constant state of change. Don’t get caught up in trying to control everything. Allow experiences to shape you. You’re about to embrace three incredible changes that will fill your life with unconditional love, and through this journey, you’ll discover your true self.
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In summary, life can be both challenging and beautiful. Embrace the journey with an open heart.
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