Dear Parents: You’re Not That Unique

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As I sat by the pond, watching my four-year-old struggle to get the hang of floating, I couldn’t help but notice a familiar scene unfold. During swim class, there are clearly marked areas where swimming is prohibited—including the dock—but every day, some parents seem to think their children deserve an exception.

Today, a mother was told by the lifeguard that she needed to move beyond the buoys. Her response? “We have to leave town in 30 minutes, and my kids want to play on the dock. They aren’t bothering anyone.” Except they were—her children were running through a swim class full of toddlers. But, of course, rules are just that: rules.

Increasingly, it seems like parents feel entitled to flout rules, whether they’re explicit or implied, when it comes to their kids. The truth is, having a child doesn’t grant you or them any special privileges, and acting like the world revolves around your little ones? That’s just selfish. Here are some contexts where I’ve noticed this entitlement:

1. The Movies

Please, don’t bring your three-month-old to a late-night horror film. Your child will undoubtedly wake up and disturb others. If you want to see that film, hire a babysitter—watching a movie in theaters isn’t a right, and being disruptive is just plain rude.

2. Bars

It’s surprising I even need to mention this, but I’ve witnessed many parents bringing young children into bars—especially in cities like New York. What are you thinking? Do you really want your child in an environment meant for adults seeking a break from parenting? There are family-friendly venues out there; seek those out.

3. Inappropriate Restaurants

There are plenty of family-oriented restaurants. Opt for those instead of trying to fit your family into a fine dining atmosphere.

4. Age/Height Restrictions

These rules exist for a reason. If your child is too short for an attraction, arguing about it won’t change anything and only makes you look entitled. It’s about safety, not personal inconvenience.

5. Adult-Only Events

Nothing is more frustrating than hosting a clearly labeled adult-only gathering and having a friend disregard that. If you can’t find a sitter, it might be time to skip the event. Your kids simply can’t be everywhere.

6. Public Transport

While you can bring your child on planes or trains, how you manage them matters. Don’t be the parent who brings a restless toddler onto a flight without any plan for entertainment. Others will be much more understanding if you actively engage your child rather than letting them kick the seat in front or play movies loudly.

In summary, you and your children aren’t inherently special. Strive to be a considerate parent and a decent person. Your children will benefit from your example, and you won’t be “that parent” everyone avoids. Wouldn’t that be refreshing?

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