Recently, my son Ethan, who is 8, joined the local Chess Club at school. Although he had only played a few casual games with our neighbor’s child, he was eager to dive into this new challenge. Unfortunately, his first experience was disheartening as he faced defeat.
In an effort to help him improve, my husband rummaged through the closet and pulled out our old chess set for some practice. I had mentioned before that I used to play quite a bit in college, but my memory of the rules had faded. When Ethan asked if I could play a game with him, I couldn’t refuse. So, after a quick search on Google to refresh my memory, we settled down across from each other, both wearing serious expressions.
As it turned out, playing chess is like riding a bike—mostly! After about 45 minutes, I found myself in a position to checkmate. “Check,” I announced. Ethan pondered his next move for a good five minutes, trying to strategize a way out of my impending victory. Eventually, I noticed his shoulders droop in disappointment, and I praised him for a solid game, extending my hand for a post-game handshake. He simply stared at it.
“Hey buddy, that’s not how we do things. We always shake hands after a game, win or lose. How about a high five instead?” He wasn’t having it. Soon enough, he was in my lap, tears rolling down his cheeks. I wiped away his frustrated tears and reassured him that losing is a natural part of learning. I wanted him to see that every great player has faced defeat along the way. Meanwhile, my husband, lounging on the couch, mouthed the words, “You should’ve let him win!”
As Ethan prepared for bed, he couldn’t stop reflecting on our game. His tears had dried, but the regrets kept coming. “I should have moved my knight differently!” “I could’ve sacrificed that pawn!” “How did I let you take my queen?”
Finally, as I tucked him in, he posed a question that had been weighing on him: “Mom, can I ask you a favor?”
“Of course,” I replied.
“Could you… maybe go easy on me next time?”
I had to stifle a laugh. “Let’s think this through. If I go easy on you and you win, will you truly feel like you earned that victory? Or will it feel like I just handed it to you?”
He took a moment before admitting, “I guess I’d feel like it was just given to me.”
“Now consider this: how would it feel if we played several games, maybe even a year’s worth, and you knew I was giving it my all? Then one day, you finally beat me fair and square. How would that feel?”
A smile spread across his face. “I’d want to scream with happiness!”
“Alright then,” I chuckled. “You can choose. I can go easy or play to win. Just know that I’ll always be honest about it. What’s your decision?”
He paused for a brief second before responding: “Full out.”
In moments like these, I’m reminded that it’s essential to teach our kids about resilience and the value of hard work. If you want to explore more about the intricacies of parenting and the lessons we impart to our children, check out this insightful post on Cervical Insemination. And if you’re considering home insemination options, Make A Mom offers reliable insemination kits. For more information on pregnancy and home insemination, the CDC is an excellent resource.
In conclusion, allowing our children to face challenges and learn from their failures can lead to tremendous personal growth. By embracing defeat alongside the thrill of victory, they can thrive in their pursuits.
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