As a child, I often found myself envious of classmates whose mothers seemed to be a constant presence at school events—whether it was helping with art projects, chaperoning field trips, or sneaking in extra cookies at lunch. My mother, a single parent, was unable to be that kind of mom. While I know she would have loved to participate, her sick days were strictly reserved for when her children were under the weather. She dedicated her days as a special education teacher and her afternoons to nurturing her two spirited daughters. There was little room for anything else.
This wasn’t the life she envisioned. As a little girl, she dreamed of having a large family, perhaps even eight children! But as adulthood set in, her dreams of motherhood transformed into a reality filled with challenges. She had a playful spirit and imagined countless days filled with creativity, storytelling, and laughter, much like her own childhood in the 1950s, when family dynamics were different. She pictured a supportive husband who would provide for the family while she could devote herself to raising the kids.
While my father was kind-hearted, he couldn’t fulfill the traditional role my mother hoped for. During my early years, he struggled to make ends meet, leaving my mother to shoulder most of the childcare responsibilities. Over time, it became clear that their visions for family life diverged significantly. My father pursued political ambitions, while my mother took on the role of primary caregiver. Their separation came shortly after my younger sister was born, and it wasn’t until I became a mother myself that I understood the sacrifices my mom made. For 18 months, she relied on the profits from a condo she sold, supplemented by government assistance and support from her own parents, all to stay home with my sister, just as she had with me. Even after returning to work, financial strain persisted for years, and her journey to self-sufficiency was long and arduous. Despite the hardships, we always had our basic needs met.
Now, as I navigate my eighth year as a (mostly) full-time mom to my two sons, I feel incredibly fortunate. Although the challenges of motherhood can be overwhelming at times, it’s a blessing to be present with them. I cherish every moment, especially when my partner returns home after a long day. We’re also managing our financial constraints, but I know from my upbringing that the most vital thing children need is the love and presence of their parents.
I recognize that not every family shares the same traditional setup we have. Many women aspire to pursue careers outside the home, and for some families, it isn’t feasible for one parent to stay home. Furthermore, not all children are fortunate enough to grow up with two loving caregivers. I am grateful for the choice I have to either work or stay home, but above all, I am immensely thankful for my mother.
Despite the financial pressures and exhaustion she faced, she remained my unwavering support. She made the best of her circumstances and shaped me into the person I am today. I always knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that my mother would be there for me—my anchor in a tumultuous childhood.
Now, as a retiree after over 20 years of teaching, she continues to help me with my children. While I sometimes feel guilty asking for assistance—considering how little help she received during our upbringing—she is always eager to lend a hand. Being with us brings her joy, and I’m grateful to have her in our lives.
I want my children to experience her in this relaxed stage of life. I hope they remember her singing “Skip to My Lou” while strumming her guitar and laughing alongside them on the floor. I want them to appreciate her strength and resilience as they grow, wrapped in her unwavering love. For more insights on family structures and parenting, check out this blog post.
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In summary, my mother has been a cornerstone in my life, teaching me the value of love, resilience, and support. I am forever grateful for her unwavering presence.
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