Parenting
By Jessica Lane
Updated: July 31, 2016
Originally Published: November 1, 2015
I vividly recall my early teaching days. In my early 20s, fresh to a new school, I was engaged, a homeowner, and leading a lively group of sixth graders during Halloween festivities. As I mingled among Bart Simpsons and inflatable wrestlers, I found myself judging a costume contest. Amidst the excitement, I was also parched.
As is typical in middle school events, parent volunteers hovered in the background, attempting to remain inconspicuous to their teens. When I reached for a drink from the “teacher” bucket, I was taken aback by a voice scolding me, “Those are for the teachers.” It was the father of one of my students.
“Um, oh,” was all I managed to say, blinking at this unfamiliar figure. I introduced myself, only to hear the line that would follow me for years: “Sorry, you look so young. I thought you were one of the kids.”
While it wasn’t meant as an insult, I learned to take it as a compliment in those early years. I looked youthful, and that was nice. The wrinkles I have now hadn’t yet appeared, and thanks to good genes, there are only a few grays hiding in my hair.
However, as I moved into my 30s, the meaning behind those words shifted. Hearing “You’re so young to be a principal” didn’t feel like a compliment anymore; it suggested I lacked experience, prompting parents to consider escalating their complaints. If I were in their shoes, I might have done the same. I found myself wishing for a few more gray hairs to lend me credibility.
Colleagues and mentors would often say I was “wise beyond my years.” I interpreted this as a sign that despite my youth, I exuded maturity and competence. Yet, it made me ponder: at what age would my experience align with my wisdom? In my 30s? 50s? Why must we equate age with wisdom? Can’t we be insightful and capable regardless of how many candles are on our birthday cake?
Now at 38, I’ve done something I never imagined at this stage in life: I left my job. After three years of juggling late-night emails, evening meetings, and nearly missing school pick-ups, the stress and pace became unbearable for my family. I love working in educational settings; it’s fulfilling and enriching, but the toll was too great. I needed to recalibrate, which meant stepping away from my career temporarily. The decision felt both right and utterly insane—an emotional tug-of-war that often accompanies big choices. I crossed my fingers, hoping it would be the right move.
This shift has sparked fresh conversations about age. Following jokes about my “retirement” and the imaginary bonbons I’d be indulging in, friends and neighbors inquire about my next steps. Surely, I can’t just stay home with my 8-year-olds, right? I want to respond with grand ambitions: perhaps I’ll write a novel or lead the PTO by fall. Yet, the truth is, I’m unsure.
On one hand, that uncertainty feels liberating. I have the rare opportunity to pause and consider my next direction: to spend time with my kids, nurture my marriage, and explore my interests. Many women don’t have this luxury, and I recognize that.
On the flip side, a looming doubt creeps in. When I do return to work, I’ll be in my 40s. Will it be more challenging? Will potential employers favor a candidate with a seamless resume over someone like me with a gap? After feeling too young for so long, am I now—gulp—too old?
Perhaps. Probably. Aging is unavoidable, even if our skin remains smooth and gray hairs come slowly. But age is also a state of mind. Haven’t I battled the notion of being “too young” all this time? As I approach 40, I’m still the mature, confident woman I was in my 20s. So, I’ve made another choice: to worry less about re-entering the workforce and focus more on what this unexpected detour means for my life’s journey.
Sometimes, the most valuable parts of our journey come from these unexpected turns, regardless of age. We just need to be open to embracing them when they arise. For those interested in more about navigating life changes, check out this insightful blog post. Also, if you’re considering at-home insemination options, CryoBaby offers reliable kits. And for further information on pregnancy and home insemination, Cleveland Clinic’s podcast is an excellent resource.
In summary, age is merely a number, while wisdom and experience can come at any point in our lives. Embrace the unexpected paths we encounter, for they often lead us to the most meaningful destinations.
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