Hey there, second-time dads (and those stepping into fatherhood for the third, fourth, or even fifth time)! Let’s get real: unlike royalty, your partner isn’t surrounded by a staff of caregivers to provide her with the postpartum pampering she truly deserves. Who’s there to help her? You.
When your first child arrived, you likely spent a significant amount of time at the hospital. You may not have noticed it at the time, but every nurse, doctor, lactation consultant, and nutritionist was on hand asking your partner, “What can I get you? Need a pillow? How about some pain relief or a snack?” When you got home, still in awe of the delivery experience and grateful you weren’t the one breastfeeding, you stepped up by bringing your partner meals and cuddling with the baby so she could take a moment for herself.
With baby number two on the way, things have changed. Your first child is now at home, demanding your attention, and you’ve become aware of just how uncomfortable those hospital chairs can be. You probably weren’t present at the hospital as often, and even when you were, you were likely focused on keeping your toddler entertained rather than absorbing all the help she received.
Both of you have transitioned into parent mode, prioritizing your children’s needs over your own. While your partner might seem like she has everything under control, she’s still a human being who needs a little extra care. So, let’s highlight some key points to keep in mind in the weeks following the arrival of your newest family member.
1. Don’t Complain About Tiredness
Trust me, I get it – you’re tired. However, remember who just went through nine months of pregnancy, childbirth, and is now managing a newborn and a toddler. You can feel tired, but keep it to yourself. Vent to your dog, your toddler, or even your local barista – just not to her.
2. Share Your Meals
If you’re in the kitchen and making yourself a sandwich, there should definitely be another one prepared for her. Caring for a newborn often leaves little time for her to eat, so ensure she has food and something to drink.
3. Recognize Her Jealousy
Every shower you take and every moment you spend away from the house might spark a hint of jealousy in her. She loves her kids but could use a break sometimes. Make sure she has time to refresh herself.
4. Track Naptimes
Keep a mental note of who gets more naps. Spoiler: it should be her.
5. Focus on Paternity Leave
Remember, your paternity leave is meant for being present as a father. It’s not the time to tackle home improvement projects or update your LinkedIn profile. If you must do a bit of work from home, keep it minimal.
6. Double Up on Treats
If you come home with a coffee, make sure to bring one for her too. It’s a small gesture, but it matters.
Your partner may seem busy and self-sufficient, but she notices your efforts. Ignoring this advice might lead to some future disagreements, so consider these tips to foster a supportive environment for both of you. For more insights, check out this related post on how to navigate parenthood with a second child here. And if you’re looking for at-home insemination kits, a reputable online retailer is Make a Mom. Also, don’t forget to explore CDC’s page for valuable information on pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary
Second-time dads should remember that their partners need extra support during the postpartum phase. Being mindful of their needs, sharing responsibilities, and ensuring they get the care they deserve can make a significant difference.
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