At some point, I completely neglected my own shopping needs. My bras were so worn out they had actual holes, and my underwear was reminiscent of what you’d find in a first grader’s drawer. My closet became a time capsule filled with nice clothes from years past—some dating back to the Clinton administration. I had items I had no reason to wear, mixed in with bizarre finds from stores where you could also buy neon relish and fungus treatments. Slowly, my daily outfit choices began to resemble something pulled from a late 90s thrift shop or leftovers from a food fight.
As my kids continued to grow, I funneled all my clothing budget and fashion inspiration into their wardrobes. I thought if they looked good, it would reflect favorably on me. “Look at that mom,” I imagined people thinking, “she may look a little disheveled, but her kids are dressed beautifully!”
However, a wake-up call arrived last week when I attended a ribbon-cutting ceremony at my daughter’s preschool. All the important people were there: faculty, administration, local politicians, and parents were invited to celebrate the new building. I had planned to arrive early and slip away unnoticed, but once again, I found myself arriving late and walking in just as the festivities began.
Seeing another mom in casual attire made me even more self-conscious. Clad in a red-and-orange striped shirt, black jeans, and Converse sneakers, I felt like a 40-something throwback to a 70s children’s show. I parked my car half a block away, waiting for the ceremony to end so I could leave with my daughter unseen.
This had to change.
The next day, I went to Marshall’s and treated myself to some new tops and sweaters. As I made my way to the checkout line, I couldn’t help but notice the tempting displays brimming with kids’ items. My mind raced, “Those barrettes would be perfect for my daughter! And my son could really use some new socks!”
What was I doing? I thought. Why couldn’t I leave a store without adding more items to my kids’ overflowing collection? It was already exhausting enough to navigate three grocery stores just to ensure my little ones had their favorites. Did I really need to buy more things that would soon be lost, discarded, or forgotten?
“No more!” I declared as I walked past a display of frilly headbands. “I’m not buying my kids one. More. Thing.” My voice caught the attention of another mom nearby, who nodded in agreement, saying, “You’re right! I was going to buy something for my girls, but they have more than enough.”
In that moment, I felt a surge of empowerment. I had inspired another mom to join me in choosing to prioritize ourselves over our kids for once. I realized that denying my children a few items wouldn’t harm them, nor would it fill the void in my wardrobe. I mattered. I deserved to treat myself without guilt. And most importantly, showering my kids with material things didn’t define my worth as a mother.
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Summary
It’s time to stop neglecting your own needs in favor of your kids. Prioritizing your self-care and wardrobe is essential for your well-being and happiness as a parent. You deserve to treat yourself without guilt and remember, being a good mother doesn’t hinge on the amount of stuff you buy for your children.
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