Parenting
When You Feel Overwhelmed as a Wife and Mother
by Jessica Harper, Aug. 30, 2015
Picture this: Sarah, about 300 miles away from her home, has decided to spend a night away from her husband and two teenage kids. As we clinked our glasses of pinot grigio, she sighed, “I’m just done being a wife. I’m exhausted from being a mom. I need a breather!” I completely understood her sentiment.
When my husband was still around, we would joke that my favorite nights were the ones spent during “Daddy-Daughter Date Nights.” And don’t even get me started on the bliss of a “Daddy-Daughter Weekend!” Those were pure gold. I would leave my schedule wide open, crawl into bed without a single worry about dinner. Maybe it would be a simple salad, or just some cheese and crackers, or even a handful of chocolate chips—it didn’t matter. It was a time to focus solely on myself. I’d indulge in my guilty pleasure shows like the Real Housewives of New York, New Jersey, or Beverly Hills. My time was my own—melted chocolate on my fingers, no remote to share, and the bed all to myself. No responsibilities? Pure bliss.
Yet, being a widow, those solitary nights don’t hold the same allure anymore. Instead of feeling relaxed, I often feel bored, lonely, and anxious. I’ve had countless conversations with others lamenting their spouse being away for a night, a few days, or even weeks. They express resentment, feeling burdened with all the household responsibilities, but at least it’s temporary. My husband isn’t coming back, which is why I usually stay silent during these discussions.
Sarah felt relieved knowing her husband was taking the kids for a weekend without her. “They all need that,” she said. “He should be more involved, and they deserve to know their dad better.” I understood that feeling too.
In my marriage, we had established clear roles: I managed our child and the household—meals, doctor visits, school errands—while my husband, Mark, took care of the animals and outdoor tasks. Mark was a dedicated father, actively engaged and loving, yet there were times I felt like a single mom. I believed I was doing everything while he merely walked the dogs!
Looking back, I was mistaken. His presence alone made a difference. Yes, I cooked, but he always handled the dishes. I did the laundry, yet he was the one who folded. If our daughter faced a tough day, Mark was there to lift her spirits. No matter what, he took her to school each morning and tucked her in every night, even when she was too old for it.
Having shared nearly 20 years with Mark, I understand how marriage ebbs and flows. To navigate those ups and downs, we knew that love, trust, and respect were crucial—even in moments of frustration or feeling underappreciated. We gave each other space, and we both needed it. If Mark were here today, I’d probably be the one rallying the “Girls’ Night Out” crew, and he would be cheering me on.
Now, though, I don’t feel that same urge to escape. When I do find a rare moment of free time, I want to spend it with my boyfriend, David. Our relationship is still blossoming, and while I hate to sound cynical, I can foresee a day when I might decline to join him at all of his events. Perhaps I’ll encourage David to spend a night with his son without me so I can kick back and indulge in some bad TV. Maybe I’ll even take a road trip with a friend just because she invites me.
It’s hard to envision that future right now, as we’re both so wrapped up in each other. Yet, I do recognize that great relationships require space, and loving couples need time apart. This understanding is exactly why Sarah poured herself another glass of pinot before hitting the dance floor.
For more insights into navigating the complexities of motherhood and relationships, check out this other blog post. And if you’re considering at-home insemination, you can find a great selection of kits at this reputable online retailer. For more information on the process itself, visit this excellent resource.
In summary, it’s completely normal to feel overwhelmed by the demands of being a wife and mother. Taking time for yourself is essential for maintaining your well-being. Embrace the moments of solitude and remember that both you and your partner can benefit from some space apart.
Leave a Reply