As a physician, I often encounter strong, empowered women who embrace their bodies post-pregnancy, but I must admit I don’t fall into that category. When I look in the mirror, I’m confronted with sagging breasts, a stretched belly, and the inevitable signs of aging that come with motherhood. Often, society tells us that “good mothers” should wear their scars proudly, viewing them as badges of honor from their journey into motherhood. While I respect that perspective, it doesn’t resonate with me. I want cosmetic surgery, and I want it now.
However, my desires go beyond just enhancing my bust. I’m seeking a complete transformation—a so-called “mommy makeover” that encompasses everything from tummy tucks to breast lifts. I’m a strong-minded feminist, and prior to having children, I felt in tune with my sexuality, which my partner and I both cherished.
Now, I find myself feeling less than attractive. This isn’t a matter of insecurity; I simply want my body to reflect the way I feel inside. Unfortunately, speaking this truth often leads to criticism, as some might label me a “bad feminist” for wanting to alter my appearance.
Arguments that women shouldn’t feel the need for makeup or slim figures to feel beautiful ring hollow to me. I understand the dangers of objectifying women, but I don’t see myself in that light. When I observe celebrities like Mia with her incredible physique or Emma with her stunning figure, I don’t feel diminished; instead, I see aspirations. Why not celebrate the diverse ways in which a woman’s form can be appealing? For some, scars from childbirth are beautiful; for others, tattoos are a standard of beauty. For me, it’s about achieving a strong, fit body. I’m not conforming to a male perspective; I’m choosing to define what I find attractive.
Wanting to shed the baby weight and adopt a healthy lifestyle is commendable. If you thrive on a detox vegan diet, that’s fantastic! As for me, I aim for a toned physique, which may involve hard work, healthy eating, and potentially, surgical intervention.
Being a modern feminist means embracing our autonomy and the choices we make about our bodies. Yet, many still cling to outdated beliefs that suggest wanting surgical enhancements or opting to be a stay-at-home mother somehow disqualifies one from being a feminist. I disagree. A woman’s freedom to choose—whether it’s spending money on body enhancements or pursuing her passions—should not detract from her feminist identity.
My daily choices reflect what feminism means to me, from deciding to stay home with my kids to returning to work to follow my passion for medicine. When I got a tattoo at 37, my children saw me owning my body and expressing myself creatively. If I choose to undergo a tummy tuck, it won’t signal insecurity; rather, it will demonstrate my control over my own body.
Women have fought hard for the right to be heard and valued as individuals capable of making their own choices. You may view my aspirations as superficial or frivolous, but it’s my journey, and I’m excited about the possibilities ahead.
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In summary, my journey as a feminist mother includes the desire for cosmetic surgery, which I view as an expression of my autonomy. Embracing our choices, however they manifest, is what true feminism is all about.