“Is he in school yet?”
This question has been popping up since my son learned to walk. It’s like a universal inquiry from fellow parents at the park, curious nannies, and even distant relatives I barely know.
What’s the fascination with whether my little one is starting school?
Honestly, I don’t hold a strong stance on preschool. Every family must find what works for them. I understand that many parents rely on full-day preschool due to work commitments, while others might find it simply too expensive. For those who opt for it, preschool can indeed be a delightful experience for kids and a well-deserved break for parents. We enrolled our older son, and it was a positive journey for him.
However, I struggle with the notion that toddlers need structured schooling. There’s a prevailing belief that if your child doesn’t start early, they’re somehow being shortchanged or destined for educational struggles.
So, why the rush to formal education? Are we missing something? Many preschool programs entice parents with promises of an educational environment. When my older son was in preschool, he received progress reports and assessments detailing his milestones.
But let’s be real.
What do toddlers really need to do all day? They can crawl around looking for bugs—scientific inquiry in action. They can run around counting flowers—math at its finest. They can rummage through books, knocking things over until they find the one about a big red truck—now that’s reading!
I’m not against teaching my kids; in fact, I enjoy it, especially when they show interest. I’m happy to share shapes, letters, and numbers when they’re curious. But many kids just aren’t interested in formal learning at such a young age, and that’s perfectly okay.
I’ve spent time in rooms filled with 2-, 3-, and 4-year-olds. Trust me, when they’re all bouncing around, tossing plastic toys at each other, very little structured learning is happening. Any educational gains at that age are likely to come from one-on-one interactions, hands-on experiences, or simply soaking up knowledge through play.
Sure, preschool can be a fun way for kids to learn social skills, but it’s not the only avenue. Playdates can fulfill those needs, and children learn immensely just by exploring the world around them, listening to stories, and engaging in conversations.
I’m fortunate to be a mostly full-time mom, allowing me to take a less hurried approach to education. My son is turning three this fall, and I’ve decided against preschool for him. Unlike his older brother, he doesn’t seem ready yet—plus, he’s six months younger than his sibling when he started.
We will keep busy with regular activities that involve other kids, and I’ll certainly take advantage of some babysitting breaks to maintain my sanity (thank you, Aunt Clara!).
Most importantly, I want to cherish the freedom that unstructured time offers him. I’ll observe him learning at his own pace and will teach him about numbers, letters, and reading if he shows interest. I’ll focus on imparting values like kindness and friendship.
If he expresses interest in preschool down the line (and if it fits our budget), I might consider enrolling him. But I won’t pressure him into it, nor will I hold unrealistic expectations about what preschool should achieve. I recognize that while it can be enriching, it’s entirely optional—learning, discovery, and play can thrive outside of a traditional classroom setting. More people should acknowledge the many wonderful, valid ways children can grow and develop.
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In summary, my decision to hold off on preschool for my son is a personal choice rooted in the belief that learning can occur in various forms. I aim to nurture his curiosity in a relaxed environment, celebrating the joy of discovery without the pressure of formal schooling.
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