“What happens when we place unrealistic expectations on mothers?” This thought-provoking question comes from Australian author Claire Johnson, who is no stranger to shedding light on the challenges of motherhood. Her recent post about the difficulties modern moms face in truly enjoying time with their children resonates deeply with many of us. It serves as a powerful reminder of how vastly different our experiences are compared to those of previous generations.
After the arrival of her first child (Johnson has three kids), she found herself pondering how her grandmother managed with a whopping 12 children. When she asked her father for insight, he offered a perspective that struck a chord: “She didn’t have the same pressures I do,” Johnson shared. “She didn’t need to run errands every day, she wasn’t expected to bounce back to her pre-baby self immediately, and she never felt the need to push her kids to hit every milestone by their first birthday. Instead, she simply spent time with them and relished those moments.”
How true is that? If we weren’t bombarded with societal norms dictating what a ‘perfect’ mother should be, we might actually be able to take a breath. The relentless pressure to juggle countless tasks for our children, our homes, and our careers often leaves us feeling overwhelmed. “So how do we cope with this immense pressure?” Johnson asks. “The truth is, many of us don’t fully enjoy our kids; we’re often only half-present because we’re so focused on maintaining a facade of perfection.”
Ouch. I can relate; I find myself going through the motions sometimes, and it’s disheartening. Johnson’s post poignantly lists the myriad of pressures modern mothers face: “Whether it’s hitting the gym, replying to emails, paying bills, preparing organic meals, or even just keeping the laundry under control, the list never ends. And heaven forbid we order takeout for lunch—judgment awaits!”
She’s absolutely right. It feels like a no-win situation. Society tells us to prioritize self-care, to look and feel our best. But don’t even think about bringing the kids along; if your babysitter cancels or your partner is running late, you might be labeled selfish. It’s a constant tug-of-war between what we’re encouraged to pursue and the judgments we face for doing so.
In her post, Johnson touches on a crucial aspect of the chaos that defines modern motherhood: it detracts from the quality time we spend with our children. During a recent listening exercise, she realized how being distracted can make someone feel overlooked and insignificant, leaving her to wonder, “Is this what our busy lives are doing to our kids?”
Yikes, that’s a sobering thought. So, how can mothers break free from this cycle of guilt and pressure? The answer lies in letting go of those external expectations and focusing on what truly matters: loving our children. “This morning, I decided to take a deep breath and release all that stress. I don’t care about the new curtains I ordered or if my home is perfectly organized for visitors,” Johnson shared. “What I value is my time with my kids and their sense of self-worth. I refuse to let societal pressures define my motherhood experience.”
At the end of the day, our kids don’t care about being ‘super mom’; they just want us—authentically and wholeheartedly present in their lives.
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Summary
Claire Johnson’s candid post highlights the immense pressures modern mothers face, revealing how these expectations can hinder genuine enjoyment of motherhood. By shedding societal pressures and focusing on quality time with their children, moms can reclaim their joy.