When I was pregnant with my daughter in 2016, I didn’t develop the typical “baby bump” until my third trimester. This was due to several factors, including my tall, broad-shouldered build and a strong core from my active lifestyle. In fact, I competed in a triathlon at just 8 weeks along—there was no way I was going to waste my training and the $100 entry fee! Unfortunately, my pregnancy journey was marred by a condition that made eating nearly impossible.
Like many women, I endured hyperemesis gravidarum, a severe form of morning sickness that feels like being stuck on a turbulent ship with no escape. The nausea was relentless, and even the smell of certain foods could send me running to the bathroom. I lost weight rapidly, my eyes appeared sunken, and I was utterly exhausted. In many cases, women in this situation require hospitalization for IV fluids to stay hydrated. Some even consider terminating the pregnancy due to the unbearable discomfort.
I speak from experience. I battled hyperemesis gravidarum with my daughter, and now I’m facing it again as I await the arrival of another baby girl in the summer of 2021. While many pregnant women experience nausea and fatigue, I’ve already lost 2% of my body weight, which has led to well-meaning but concerning comments from those I’ve shared my news with.
I sometimes wish there was a card I could present to people announcing my condition. Without fail, when I share my pregnancy news, they look at my flat stomach and prominent cheekbones, asking “how?” Comments like “Are you starving the baby?” are all too common, especially from older generations who were taught to “eat for two” in the 1980s.
Worse still are the unsolicited touches of my midsection and comments questioning the presence of a baby. One particularly awkward moment occurred when an older male relative lifted my shirt in public and loudly declared, “Are you really pregnant?” Yes, I was, but being ill made my body feel like public property for commentary and scrutiny.
Another male relative insisted on ordering extra meat for me at lunch, despite my aversion to meat during pregnancy. The moment the ham-filled dish arrived, I rushed to the restroom to vomit, texting my husband to return the meal. When I returned to the table, my family chastised me about the importance of eating for the sake of my unborn child.
From a sociological perspective, this concern is understandable. A pregnant woman is seen as a vessel for the future of the community, and there’s a natural inclination to protect the unborn. However, this often leads to the neglect of the pregnant individual’s needs, as their body is scrutinized and policed.
This societal mindset can be harmful, as it overlooks the woman’s experience and well-being. Every bite they take is under intense observation, reinforcing the terrifying reality of how women’s bodies are treated. Even medical advice, such as my OB/GYN prescribing Zofran, was met with horror by some. I found myself pleading, “This is the medication that’s allowing me to eat and sustain this baby—why can’t you just be supportive?”
Fortunately, the negative comments have decreased, and I’ve managed to eat a bit more and regain some weight. Most importantly, my second baby is doing well, just like her sister before her, even if the pregnancy has been challenging.
So, if you encounter someone who is thin and pregnant, offer genuine congratulations and recognize that they are doing their best. And please, avoid commenting on their weight.
For more insightful discussions on pregnancy and related topics, check out this other blog post that explores similar experiences, or visit Make A Mom for authoritative information about home insemination. If you’re looking for guidance on what to expect during insemination, this resource is an excellent starting point.
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Summary:
This article recounts the experience of a woman facing hyperemesis gravidarum during her pregnancy, emphasizing the physical and emotional challenges she endures, including weight loss and unsolicited comments from others. It calls for understanding and kindness towards pregnant individuals, particularly those struggling with health issues, and highlights the importance of supporting their well-being.