As we begin to introduce the concept of chores to my 5-year-old son, he’s currently in charge of putting away his toys at the end of the day and “helping” me with laundry and vacuuming. Sure, his vacuuming mostly turns into an experiment to see what larger and larger items the hose can suck up—like that ace of hearts he found—but let’s call it an engineering lesson.
We’ve also started implementing an allowance system: $1 for spending, $1 for saving, and $1 for donating, based on the jar method suggested by the financial expert, Ron Carter, in his book The Opposite of Spoiled: Raising Kids Who Are Grounded, Generous, and Smart About Money. Carter emphasizes that allowance should not be tied to chores; it serves as a tool for learning about money management. Teaching kids to budget, identify wants versus needs, and save for future purchases is part of our responsibility as parents. After all, children don’t “earn” their meals or housing either; we provide those because it’s part of nurturing them.
This raises an interesting question: Should children earn extra money by completing additional chores? A thought-provoking image shared by Jenna Brown on social media sparked a lively discussion about the pros and cons of paying kids for chores, whether for regular tasks or extra responsibilities. There are certainly many important household tasks that extend beyond daily chores, like cleaning gutters, vacuuming the car, or organizing the garage.
At one point, I considered following Jenna’s lead and offering a small incentive for jobs like raking leaves or washing the dog. However, I realized I have sons to raise, and I reflected on the men I’ve known in my life. While they contributed to household chores we had agreed upon, it often fell on me to create the to-do list. It seems to be a common scenario that women take the lead in determining what needs to be done. This, in itself, is a task.
My goal is not only to teach my boys to wash their dishes without a complaint but to prepare them for adulthood with essential domestic skills. I want them to understand meal planning, dusting blinds, and knowing when to clean out the fridge. I don’t want them to be the kind of men who say to their partners, “Just let me know what you need me to do.” I want them to be proactive.
A household functions on a plethora of little tasks, from figuring out how much food to prepare for Thanksgiving dinner to knowing where to find that perfect solvent for wall stains. This mental checklist is a key part of being a household manager, a skill I want my boys to have along with their money-management abilities.
By paying them for chores, I risk them picking and choosing only the fun tasks or opting out altogether. That’s not how adulthood operates. Sometimes, you’re the one wrestling with a wet dog, and there’s no paycheck at the end of that struggle. So, excuse me while I demonstrate to my son how to clean out a vacuum hose—looks like that ace of hearts made its way in there!
In summary, I believe that chores should be part of everyday life, not a source of income. It’s about instilling responsibility and essential life skills in my sons for their future.
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