Hey there, pharmacy clerk,
I know your intentions were good when you asked about my due date. Lately, it seems everyone is curious about my belly, and honestly, I can’t blame them. My baby bump is quite pronounced at 25 weeks, especially for a first-time pregnancy. It’s a natural inclination to inquire about someone’s growing belly, something I’ve become acutely aware of during my six years as a doula. I adore seeing pregnant women and often feel the urge to run up to them, showering them with compliments on their beauty. Yet, I’ve learned the hard way that certain boundaries must be respected.
When I pass by a fellow expectant mother, I might smile at them or even share a knowing glance, but I refrain from asking questions. Now that I’m pregnant myself, I understand even more why it’s crucial to respect others’ space. So, when you asked me about my due date, my heart raced. You see, countless others have posed similar questions in the past weeks, their eager expressions suggesting they were excited for my little one to arrive. I often respond with a simple smile and a nod to vague comments like “You must be ready to pop!” But when you asked, “When are you due?” I felt a wave of tension wash over me.
I answered you with “December,” but the look on your face made me wonder if I should have said something different. Should I have claimed September or even October instead? Why should I feel compelled to lie just to make you comfortable? It’s a thought I’ve wrestled with before, but you weren’t the source of my biggest discomfort that day. It was what happened next that truly shook my world.
You—yes, the man next to me waiting for his medication—turned around, chuckling as you asked, “Triplets?” My heart dropped. In the past few weeks, I’ve been asked if I was having twins, and while that still stings, your comment about triplets felt like a punch to my gut. The reality is, I’ve been carrying the weight of two lost babies inside me, and your words brought that pain rushing back.
I understand that you meant no harm. You had no way of knowing about my loss—how could you? But this highlights why such questions should be avoided. You never know what someone has been through. Miscarriages, stillbirths, or other hardships often hide behind the surface of a pregnant belly. It’s a sensitive topic, and it’s essential to approach it with care.
After your questions, I left the pharmacy feeling defeated and heavy-hearted, reminded once more of the two children I lost. I wanted to share my story, to tell you about my girls, but I hesitated, fearing it might make the moment uncomfortable for you. Instead, I walked away, perhaps leaving you with the impression that I was rude or standoffish.
But I hope, just for a moment, you reflect on whether your comments might have crossed a line. Maybe next time, you’ll think twice before asking such questions, just as I carry the memory of my beloved children.
For more insights on pregnancy and the complexities that can accompany it, check out our post on intracervical insemination. If you’re interested in home insemination options, I highly recommend visiting Cryobaby, a reliable retailer offering at-home insemination syringe kits. For a deeper understanding of the processes involved in conception, this Wikipedia article on in vitro fertilisation serves as an excellent resource.
In summary, it’s crucial to be mindful of the words we choose when speaking to pregnant women. Simple questions can hold heavy implications, and kindness often means respecting boundaries that protect emotional well-being.
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