I can hardly believe it. For me, shorts season has always been a challenge. But this year? After putting in so much effort to embrace and love myself? It’s truly unbelievable.
Throughout the day, I found myself overly aware of my body in ways that usually don’t bother me. I felt the slight crease at my waist—the extra skin that emerged after having my child. I noticed the way my thighs brushed against each other, a familiar sensation since middle school. And with every passing reflection, I couldn’t help but notice how my upper arms appeared larger than I’d like. It was a distracting day, and by evening, I found myself in a pretty lousy mood. I felt down about my appearance, exhausted, and ready to hide under the covers indefinitely.
Spring: The Season of Diets
It seems like this struggle began when I was just 12. As shorts season approached, I became acutely aware of my body image. I was in adult sizes but still felt like a child. That’s when I embarked on my first diet, and for the next two decades, I maintained a tumultuous relationship with food and my body.
My Body Was Never Good Enough
I fluctuated between being heavy and light, yet no matter my size, I always felt inadequate. Even when I reached a size I thought was ideal, I still focused on the flaws, perpetually feeling as though I needed to change.
Fat Isn’t a Feeling
So what was I truly feeling when I slipped into those shorts and labeled myself “fat”? I was grappling with feelings of inadequacy, judgment, discomfort, and shame. It was an overwhelming sense of “not enough.”
I Think I’m Just Sad
After feeling terrible for most of the day, I realized that my frustration was rooted in grief. The 12-year-old girl I once was was perfect just as she was. A size 10 in sixth grade may have felt significant, but she was still just a kid. Looking back, it pains me to think of the hours wasted obsessing over calories and running endless miles instead of simply enjoying the sunshine.
I Liked My Body When I Was Pregnant
During my pregnancy, I finally felt a sense of appreciation for my body. It was remarkable to see how it changed to nurture my baby. While breastfeeding brought some insecurities back, I could still find joy in my body’s purpose. But now? My “baby” is 32 months old; am I still allowed to appreciate my body when it’s not performing such a sacred role?
Society often stigmatizes bodies like mine. Though progress has been made, it’s still a challenge to find plus-size shorts that don’t come with restrictive fabric.
I Call Bullshit
I’ve spent too long feeling inadequate—from that fateful day at 12 when I decided my body wasn’t good enough, to last night when I let my thighs distract me from enjoying the moment with my toddler. Enough is enough.
Today, I will wear shorts, and I will feel beautiful. I’m joining the empowering movement known as #takebackpostpartum, and I’m calling my personal journey #iwillwearshorts. Today, I’ll take my son to the park, revel in my strong legs, and embrace my body just as it is. No more self-loathing.
Who’s ready to join me? Who else will wear shorts? If you’re interested in further reading about motherhood and body image, check out this insightful post on Cervical Insemination. Also, if you’re looking for at-home insemination options, Make A Mom offers reliable kits for your needs. For more information on artificial insemination, be sure to visit Wikipedia.
In summary, it’s time to reclaim our narratives around body image, celebrate our uniqueness, and wear those shorts with pride.
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