39 Reasons We Avoid Working Out

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Let’s face it: the motivation to exercise often eludes us. I mean, here I am, a woman of a certain age, still jamming to tunes that were cool back when cassette tapes ruled the world, and I’ve packed on a few extra pounds since those days. Now I find myself at a crossroads: should I invest in my fitness for this next chapter of life, or should I just start researching mobility scooters?

This week, I suffered a minor setback—an annoying stress fracture in my foot. Honestly, I can’t pinpoint how it happened; one moment, my foot was fine, and then, poof! I was hobbling around like I just stepped on a Lego. It seems my body has reached new levels of absurdity, capable of injuring itself while sitting comfortably at a desk.

While I’ve got a legitimate excuse to skip working out for now, I know that eventually my foot will heal—and with it, my ability to concoct excuses will vanish. But for now, let’s have some fun with this. Here are some hilariously relatable reasons we often find to dodge a workout.

1. Who even has time to plug in the treadmill?
2. Too busy being mesmerized by that guy who’s more focused on his reflection than his reps.
3. How can you hit the gym when you can practically hear your favorite cocktail shaking its maracas?
4. The treadmill might accidentally summon some overly enthusiastic robots.
5. Gotta pretend to care about my partner’s riveting story about sump pump installations.
6. I haven’t checked out the “Recently Added” section on Netflix for over a week—priorities!
7. Can’t shake the feeling that my alternate universe self is already in fantastic shape.
8. Duty calls: my lonely husband needs my company as he regales me with tales of plumbing.
9. Too much exercise can turn my dainty feet into gnarly, calloused monstrosities.
10. Chafing is no joke.
11. The overly touchy trainer who thinks he’s doing me a favor by correcting my form.
12. The thought of countless strangers’ sweat on the gym equipment is too disturbing.
13. I’m convinced that a quick jaunt to the liquor store counts as cardio.
14. Hoping a wasp takes a detour into the mouth of the guy grunting over ten pounds.
15. Discovered a stash of Halloween candy in the pantry, and you know how that goes.
16. Can’t exactly munch nachos while attempting pull-ups.
17. Can’t stop worrying about potential camel-toe issues in my workout gear.
18. Watching my partner install a sump pump is way more thrilling.
19. Walking all the way to the treadmill feels like a marathon in itself.
20. My only workout shirt doubled as a napkin for dinner.
21. Fear of choking on brownies while jogging is a real concern.
22. Must check if Pop-Up Video is still a thing on the internet.
23. No clean workout clothes; naked squats are not happening, and stability ball workouts are out of the question.
24. The quest for appropriate socks might lead me into the depths of the laundry pile.
25. I really need to settle the ongoing debate with my sister about when Bono turned into a diva.
26. Every time I lay down on the weight bench, I end up dozing off.
27. With the world ending again, why even bother?
28. On hold with my psychic friend for guidance.
29. Afraid the weights will attract a horde of zombies.
30. Honestly? I just don’t feel like working out.
31. Fat? I’m okay with it—no big deal.
32. Have you seen our new sump pump?
33. We must observe a moment of silence for all those incredible season finales.
34. Had nachos for dinner, and I’m not risking another “sweating salsa” episode.
35. There’s a voicemail from my mother that I must listen to first.
36. Training for the 2027 Hammock Olympics is my priority.
37. I might actually have to invent the Hammock Olympics first.
38. The treadmill is currently a laundry hub.
39. Gotta respect the dust bunnies and their naptime.

Regardless of the reasons we concoct, the truth remains: we need to keep moving. Sure, it was easier when life was simpler, but we can’t let our excuses weigh us down forever. For some real inspiration on family planning and fitness, check out this insightful post on Cervical Insemination or explore options at Resolve for more information on pregnancy and home insemination. And if you’re considering a more private approach, Make a Mom offers reputable at-home insemination kits.

In summary, while we all have our reasons to avoid working out, it’s essential to remember that moving our bodies is vital for our health. Let’s laugh at our excuses, but also take steps toward a more active life.