In a recent eye-opening talk, Davis Carter shared his experiences as a Black man navigating life in America. A moment that stood out occurred when he visited a coffee shop with his young daughter in tow. The barista remarked, “It’s rare to see Black fathers with their kids,” and followed up with, “I hope you’re actively involved in her life.” Both Davis and his daughter are Black, and this kind of interaction is sadly all too familiar.
Carter delves into the complexities of being a Black man in his TEDx presentation, Racism Through the Lens of a Non-Threatening Black Man. He candidly recounts some of his most painful encounters with racism, including his first experience with the n-word, a white girl who rejected him due to her parents’ prejudices, and the pressure he felt to constantly prove himself as smarter, better dressed, and more polite to gain respect from white individuals. At one point, he states, “Nothing makes sense if you’re a Black man in America—nothing.”
At 46, Davis lives in Los Angeles with his wife and their two young daughters. He is the founder of the Anti-Racism Training Academy, which offers comprehensive training sessions aimed at combating racism for adults and children alike. Additionally, he serves as a parenting advisor and runs a popular social media platform called Dads Doing It Right, which highlights engaged fathers.
Dads Doing It Right marked the beginning of Davis’s rise to prominence seven years ago. His mission? “I want to demonstrate that I’m not a rarity. There are countless involved and dedicated dads out there, and I want to shine a light on them.” He emphasizes, “I particularly want to showcase fathers of color because there’s a lot of misinformation suggesting we don’t care about parenting. In truth, we’re some of the best dads around.”
In his TEDx talk, Davis discusses how he constantly strives to appear non-threatening, from his choice of clothing to singing children’s songs in public to create a sense of safety for those around him. However, he admits that this relentless effort is “soul-crushing,” leading him to contemplate suicide three years ago. Davis shared with a parenting site, “As a Black man, I always feel the need to be ‘on’—and that means doing things to make white individuals comfortable enough for me to return home to my family safely.”
During his talk, he revealed that his daughter, alarmingly, expressed her fear that he might be shot. He commented on the pervasive “trauma porn” present in media, constantly showcasing the violence against Black individuals. Davis confessed he often lies to his daughter, reassuring her, “Everything will be fine,” despite knowing that “all evidence suggests otherwise.” He poignantly remarked, “How messed up is that?”
For Davis, and many Black Americans, fear is a constant reality. He shared that whether he’s walking his dog, shopping, or driving, he faces danger. The simplest activities can become perilous due to the omnipresence of racism. The events of 2020, including the tragic deaths of George Floyd and Breonna Taylor, serve as stark reminders of this reality. He hopes that by being open about his struggles with depression, other men of color will feel empowered to do the same, acknowledging that navigating life as a BIPOC individual in 2020 is extraordinarily challenging.
In raising his daughters, Davis strives to shield them from the harsh realities of racism, though he acknowledges it’s impossible to keep them completely unaware. He assures them that he is tirelessly working to create a more equitable world for children like them and encourages them to enjoy their childhood. He hopes that when they are older and comprehend the racial injustices of 2020, they can reflect and know that their father fought against it to the best of his ability.
Toward the conclusion of his talk, Davis outlines five actionable steps white individuals can take to combat racism, including supporting Black colleagues, calling out racist behavior in their communities, and instilling anti-racist values in their children. He emphasized the importance of believing Black individuals when they share their experiences with racism, countering the misconception that they’re merely invoking a “race card” for sympathy. “When we discuss the debilitating effects of racism, we must be accepted at face value—no buts or whataboutisms,” he added.
To learn more, watch Davis’s full TEDx talk. He is also preparing to release a children’s book titled See Me, which addresses themes of immigration. He remarked, “There’s a tremendous amount of work to do, beginning with raising awareness about racial justice and using that awareness to drive meaningful change. I will continue to fight for what’s right for as long as it takes. There’s simply too much at stake.”
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Summary:
Davis Carter’s TEDx talk highlights the challenges faced by Black men in America, particularly the pressure to appear non-threatening and the constant fear of violence. He shares personal anecdotes reflecting systemic racism and emphasizes the importance of believing Black voices in conversations about race. Davis advocates for actionable steps that individuals can take to combat racism and create a more equitable society.