Updated: June 29, 2023
Originally Published: May 6, 2015
Today, I reached out to you because I was feeling inundated with responsibilities. Without hesitation, you agreed to come over as soon as you finished your laundry. When you arrived for lunch with me and the kids, your mere presence brought me comfort, allowing me to exhale. Why does everything feel so secure when you’re nearby?
At 31, I still find myself longing to run to you for support. You have an innate ability to say the right words that soothe my worries. You’re the only one who perceives the things I leave unsaid and recognizes what I try to conceal.
I’ve come to a profound realization—it’s like I’m standing in your shoes now. During my toughest moments, I truly grasp the sacrifices you made for me. Often, I feel invisible, as though my efforts go unnoticed. My partner unintentionally makes me feel that my contributions lack significance compared to his, especially when I end the day with a messy house, a sink full of dishes, and wet towels strewn across the bathroom floor, unable to recall what I accomplished throughout the day.
Sometimes, I believe you are the only one who acknowledges my efforts. You understand the extent of my love and dedication. In those moments of giving, I am flooded with memories of your selflessness. I remember how I would save grapes for my children, knowing how much my son, Leo, enjoys them. Growing up, I always found grapes in the house. I never knew if you liked them; I assumed you didn’t because you never ate them. Even now, you encourage me to enjoy the last of whatever is left, saying you “don’t need it anyway.” I believed you until I became a mother myself. Now, I realize you were giving it to me, even if you wanted it, prioritizing my needs.
In my most selfless moments, I recognize how much you still give. Throughout the day, I listen to everyone else’s stories, their achievements, and I find myself immersed in their worlds—watching Lego structures being built, jumps from furniture, and karate moves practiced. I’m requested to observe and engage with everyone else’s experiences, and after the day winds down, I get a fleeting moment to remember my own identity.
I fear I do the same to you. When I call, I rush to share every detail of my life, and you listen attentively, celebrating my joys like no one else does, or at least you excel at making me feel that way. Frequently, I realize I forget to ask how you are doing once our conversation ends.
You are my sanctuary. You nurture me even when I am unaware. You make me feel cherished and understood, something I never fully appreciated until I found myself in this phase of life where I often come last. Until I recognized what it feels like to be the safe haven for someone else.
I once believed I had outgrown my need for you, convinced I was forging my own path. You allowed me to think this while quietly supporting me from the sidelines, ready to help me rise whenever I stumbled, just as you have since my childhood. Words like “thank you” barely suffice to express my gratitude, but I want you to know I finally see you. I see you throughout my day, during my darkest moments and my most joyful times with my children. I understand the sacrifices you made and the depth of your love. I finally see you, Mom.
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Summary
In this heartfelt reflection, Clara Johnson expresses her deep appreciation for her mother and the sacrifices she made throughout her life. Through the lens of motherhood, Clara realizes the extent of her mother’s love and support, acknowledging the selflessness that often goes unnoticed. She recognizes the emotional bond that persists, highlighting the importance of maternal relationships and the enduring impact of parental love.