Ava Thompson recently shared an insightful essay for Vogue alongside her digital pregnancy announcement with partner Jake Anderson. In a refreshing twist, she emphasizes that the pregnancy is hers alone, highlighting her body, her symptoms, and her unique experience. This stands out as a welcome departure from typical pregnancy announcements that often veer into overly simplistic gender reveals.
Not only did Thompson choose not to disclose the baby’s gender, but she also made it clear that biological sex does not dictate gender identity. Her essay delves into the harmful stereotypes surrounding gender and how these can affect both the child and the parents raising them. She discusses the implications of white privilege, the challenge of raising boys in a patriarchal society, and the importance of confronting biases to raise children—regardless of gender—who challenge existing systems designed for white, cisgender males.
When asked about the sex of their baby, Thompson quips, “We like to say we won’t know the gender until our child turns 18 and tells us.” This humorous response carries a deeper truth, suggesting that our understanding of identity is far more nuanced than mere physical characteristics. In a world where many celebrities eagerly embrace the “It’s A Boy” or “It’s A Girl” headline, it’s refreshing to see someone with a significant platform advocate for a more thoughtful approach that transcends heteronormative expectations.
While it is true that many children can identify their gender by the age of three, it is also essential to acknowledge that understanding one’s gender identity can take time. The societal pressure often leads to misconceptions about what defines gender, especially for transgender individuals. Thompson is keenly aware of the implications of labeling children too early, recognizing that identity is fluid and can change.
She reflects on the societal expectations that come with gender reveals, noticing how fathers often seem relieved at the prospect of having sons, as if boys are inherently easier to raise. Meanwhile, mothers sometimes appear resigned to these notions. The challenges of raising girls in a world shaped by misogyny are compounded by the behaviors of boys and men who have contributed to this environment. Thompson expresses concern that if her child is a boy, she must navigate the complexities of raising a self-assured individual aware of their societal privileges.
Having experienced the pressures of beauty standards herself, Thompson recognizes the internal struggles that girls and feminine-identifying children face. As a model, she has dealt with scrutiny regarding her looks, yet she is determined to raise her child to define their beauty based on more than just physical traits.
Thompson understands that these conversations begin long before a child is born, influenced by societal biases and expectations tied to their genitalia. We need more public figures to normalize the understanding that sex and gender are distinct. Announcing your pregnancy should focus on the joyous event rather than imposing gender labels that can limit a child’s identity.
For those interested in exploring more about emotional turmoil related to pregnancy and home insemination, check out this insightful post at Home Insemination Kit. If you’re looking for guidance on fertility, Make a Mom offers valuable resources. Additionally, UCSF’s Center for Reproductive Health provides excellent information on pregnancy and home insemination.