This year has brought a whirlwind of emotions for many, including myself. As a working parent and graduate student juggling three young kids during a pandemic, feelings of panic, anxiety, confusion, and fatigue have become all too familiar. Recently, however, I faced a new, weighty emotion: shame. This shame stemmed from hosting a birthday party for my 6-year-old son.
As the middle child, my son is sweet, kind, and often overlooked in the hustle and bustle created by his older brother and younger sister. My eldest son, who is 8 and has ADHD, captures much of our attention, while the youngest often receives extra care. I relate to my middle child’s experience, having been one myself. Last year, we had to cancel his birthday celebration, so we promised him a special party this year.
Initially, I thought it would be impossible to host a party due to COVID-19. However, as summer progressed and cases dropped in our area, I felt hopeful. The county’s dashboard showed low positivity rates, and schools had reopened safely. I felt this was our chance to celebrate my son’s birthday in a safe manner.
We planned the party at a spacious gym filled with obstacle courses. The invitation included a note acknowledging everyone’s comfort levels with risk, and we outlined the health measures we’d implement. We were fortunate enough to rent the entire gym, and the equipment was sanitized before our arrival. We conducted temperature checks, required hand sanitization upon entry, and enforced mask-wearing. To minimize the risk further, we opted not to serve food, providing pre-packaged cookies instead. The kids were spaced out during snack time, and the atmosphere was filled with joy.
Despite the challenges of planning such an event during the pandemic, I felt it was a calculated risk. However, that risk took a turn when I received a call from the Department of Health four days later, informing me that a child from the party had tested positive for COVID-19. Soon after, parents were notified that their children would need to quarantine for 14 days.
This situation left me grappling with guilt and shame. I questioned whether I had made a mistake. In a world where everyone is navigating risks daily, how do we keep our children connected socially without putting them at risk? Finding this balance feels impossible at times, especially when even the best precautions can lead to unexpected outcomes.
Lessons Learned
From this experience, I’ve learned some valuable lessons that I hope can benefit other parents facing similar challenges:
- Words Have Power: During the phone call with the school staff member who was informing parents about the exposure, I realized how impactful our words can be. It’s crucial to communicate thoughtfully, particularly now when emotions are running high. Our children observe how we handle these situations, so modeling compassion is essential.
- Everyone Is Trying Their Best: Initially, I felt anger towards the parent who brought their child to the party, but that quickly shifted to worry. It’s vital to remember that we are all navigating this unprecedented time with varying levels of stress and anxiety. Empathy can help ease feelings of anger and resentment.
- You Are Not Alone: Many parents are grappling with difficult decisions regarding risk and their children’s social lives during this time. Connecting with others can help alleviate feelings of anxiety and shame. We’re all in this together, figuring out how to let our kids experience childhood while managing the risks that come with it.
This journey has been fraught with uncertainty and challenges, but it’s essential to remember that we are not isolated in our struggles. With patience and understanding, we can navigate this complicated landscape together.
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Summary:
The article reflects on a parent’s experience hosting a birthday party for their child during the COVID-19 pandemic, grappling with feelings of guilt and shame after learning a child from the party tested positive. It emphasizes the importance of thoughtful communication, empathy, and the shared struggles of parents as they navigate the complexities of childhood and risk in these unprecedented times.