Life as we knew it changed dramatically when COVID-19 swept across the globe, affecting everyone, especially our children. Their routines were disrupted almost overnight, with schools closing and friends becoming distant. For many kids, family members can now only be seen through screens or at a safe distance. Depending on their age, they might struggle to comprehend the enormity of this situation, which can lead them to perceive their parents as the “bad guys” in this difficult scenario.
Like adults, children have had their sense of “normal” upended. However, unlike adults, they have little to no control over their circumstances. This shift can cause some children to react in ways that may seem regressive to us as parents.
Take my son, for instance. He was once quite sensitive to the world around him; loud noises and large crowds would send him into a panic. Over time, we worked through his meltdowns and sensory issues, and those incidents became rare. Yet, in recent weeks, I’ve noticed troubling behavior resurfacing. During a family walk last week, he cried uncontrollably the entire time—full-fledged sobs, just like we used to see often but hadn’t for a long while.
Children, like my son, are navigating a lot of emotional upheaval. I find it hard to blame them for how they feel, especially when I often mirror their feelings internally. Even if I tried to explain the seriousness of the pandemic, he’s too young to fully grasp its implications. He knows there’s a “sickness” out there, but he can’t understand why he can’t play at the park or why he can’t have sleepovers with his beloved Granny.
In this time of uncertainty, kids are likely to resort to familiar coping mechanisms. It’s instinctive. As parents, it’s essential to remember that every tantrum, scream, or regression—like thumb-sucking—is completely normal. According to psychologist Emily Johnson, “Children are likely to experience regression during major transitions,” and the younger they are, the more pronounced this regression might be.
If we, as adults, can acknowledge our own setbacks during these challenging times, we should certainly expect similar reactions from our children. They are not inherently more mature than we are. While they may not articulate their feelings as adults do, they are very much experiencing the weight of this situation.
As reported by various sources, behavioral regression is common, with children reverting to previous milestones they had seemingly mastered. For instance, a child who was potty-trained may start having accidents, or a school-aged child may behave like a toddler again. This is all part of the process, and it’s okay.
Moreover, it’s worth noting that some of these changes might not even stem from the external stressors of the pandemic. Given the increased time families are spending together, parents might simply be more attuned to their children’s behavioral shifts. Dr. Sarah Thompson from the University of Texas explains that children learn in bursts, unlike adults, who acquire knowledge gradually.
Ultimately, the effects of this pandemic will vary based on individual perspectives. For children without the life experience to gauge the severity of the current situation, it’s understandable that they would act out as if their world is falling apart. This pandemic is not a break for them; their routines are disrupted, their parents might be stressed about jobs, and they might simply miss their loved ones. Their pain is valid, and they, like us, need compassion and understanding.
As Dr. Mark Steven, a clinical psychologist, states, “Children are trying to find stability and control in an increasingly unpredictable world, and they often express those feelings through their behavior.” The COVID-19 pandemic has been a collective trauma, and it’s crucial for us as parents to provide comfort and guidance during these regressive behaviors rather than chastising them for how they cope.
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Summary
Children are exhibiting regressive behaviors as a response to the upheaval brought on by COVID-19, mirroring the emotional turmoil many adults feel. It’s important for parents to approach these behaviors with understanding and compassion, recognizing that their children’s reactions are valid in this uncertain time.