Nearly everyone I know feels a sense of unease and discomfort these days. The ongoing impact of the coronavirus pandemic has left many of us grappling with various forms of suffering—be it physical, emotional, financial, or a mix of all three. What began as a brief period of isolation has turned into an extended challenge, with no signs of normalcy in sight.
This is undeniably difficult. I long for the days when I could navigate life without the constant worry of a new, sometimes lethal virus affecting my loved ones or overwhelming our healthcare system.
While it’s sometimes comforting to recognize that others might be facing more severe hardships, it doesn’t alleviate my own feelings. The world is steeped in collective mourning, and this shared grief can amplify my own burdens. I often find myself feeling guilty for my own health and fortunate circumstances amidst such widespread suffering.
However, this is the reality we are living in. COVID-19 is a persistent challenge, and we must endure it until circumstances shift. It’s vital to remember that everyone is enduring their own struggles.
When we start measuring our pain against that of others, we lose sight of the fact that suffering is not a competition. Our individual challenges are valid regardless of how they stack up next to someone else’s.
Recently, I shared my feelings about missing my sister due to travel restrictions imposed by the pandemic. We haven’t seen each other in nearly six months, and the uncertainty of when we will be reunited weighs heavily on me. One person responded dismissively, saying, “Stop whining. Talk to me when your sister is dead.”
Such remarks are unkind and unnecessary! While I would certainly be devastated if my sister were gone, it doesn’t mean I am not allowed to feel sad about our separation. Feeling “a little bit sad” is completely valid.
In these trying times, we are all just human beings navigating through an unprecedented experience. You are not obligated to downplay your own sadness or anxiety simply because someone else may be facing harsher realities.
While I can think of situations that would be more distressing for me than a global pandemic, that doesn’t invalidate my current feelings of fear and discomfort. Emotions are real, and they deserve acknowledgment, regardless of their context.
You have every right to feel overwhelmed, anxious, or even angry. It’s perfectly normal to feel the weight of this global crisis, which is unlike anything we’ve faced before.
Interestingly, we don’t apply the same logic to positive emotions. You wouldn’t hear someone say, “I’m so happy, but I shouldn’t be because others have it better.” Just as we recognize the relativity of happiness, we must also allow for the relativity of pain.
You are entitled to fully experience whatever challenges life presents without comparing them to the burdens others carry.
That said, it’s essential to approach conversations with sensitivity. I wouldn’t casually share my feelings of anxiety with someone who has lost a loved one to the virus, as that would show a lack of empathy and understanding. However, this doesn’t mean I shouldn’t express my feelings in supportive environments among friends and family.
Acknowledging your own struggles is vital. It’s crucial to maintain perspective, and it’s okay to appreciate the aspects of life that are still going well—even in these tumultuous times. You’re allowed to feel the full impact of your experiences without downplaying them.
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In summary, it’s time to stop comparing our suffering with others. Everyone has the right to feel their pain, and it’s important to seek the support we need during these trying times.