A heart-wrenching story is making waves on the “Am I the Asshole” subreddit, a platform where individuals share their experiences and seek opinions on their actions. While some posts can be amusingly clueless, this one draws sympathy for a young woman whose father seems to have fat-shamed her on her special day.
The father begins by stating, “My daughter is overweight.” He shares that she is 19 years old, standing at 5’4” and weighing 155 pounds. To put this into perspective, she is only about 10 pounds shy of what is often considered an “ideal” weight for her height. Depending on her body type, this weight could very well be suitable for her. Right from the start, it’s clear this father is overly fixated on his daughter’s weight and should probably take a step back.
For her 19th birthday, he decided to take her hiking. He even mentioned that his wife is “also overweight,” which seems unnecessary. “She complained about it the entire time. She didn’t like the heat, the incline, or the mosquitoes. I still encouraged her, and in the end, I think she felt good about exercising,” he narrates.
After their hike, she wanted to stop at a local Dunkin Donuts to celebrate both her birthday and the effort she had just put in. “I said no,” he recounts. “She was upset, saying she just wanted a donut and that she’d just done this long hike for me on her birthday. I calmly argued that she wouldn’t want to undo the benefits of the hike by getting a donut. She mentioned that the one she wanted was 350 calories, which I doubt, and insisted it would fit into her day. I reminded her she’d probably have cake later. We didn’t stop, and she sulked the whole ride home. When we got back, she told her mother, who sided with her and expressed that my approach shouldn’t be the focus on her birthday.”
Where do we even begin to unpack this situation? First off, it was her birthday; let her enjoy a donut! The fact that she can recite the calorie count and insists it would “fit into her day” indicates a potential issue with disordered eating, particularly for a teenager. She expressed that she hiked to please her father, not because it was what she wanted to do for her birthday. His rigid approach is clearly causing more harm than good.
The online community has overwhelmingly deemed this father to be in the wrong. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” one top comment reads. “On her birthday, you forced your daughter into an activity that she clearly didn’t enjoy and then denied her a small treat. It was evident your sole focus was on her exercising rather than spending quality time together. You’re being unreasonable.”
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In summary, this father’s approach to his daughter’s birthday was misguided, emphasizing weight over her happiness and well-being.