Let’s get one thing straight: co-sleeping is not for everyone. And while I have participated in this practice, sharing my bed with my little ones until they were around three months old, I can’t say I found it to be a long-term solution. Sure, it was convenient during breastfeeding—I could simply roll over and feed without getting out of bed or putting on pants. I could even doze off while my baby nursed, safe and sound beside me. But as soon as I reclaimed my independence, I was ready to reclaim my bed too.
We transitioned our kids into their own cribs and rooms without a hitch. Surprisingly, it led to better sleep for everyone involved. Now that our toddler is three, she has her own queen-sized bed. While my husband and I still enjoy moments of cuddling, reading stories, and soothing her through bad dreams, we do it on our own terms. Once she’s asleep, we sneak back to our own sanctuary.
Here’s why I decided against long-term co-sleeping:
Personal Space.
As a work-at-home mom, I’m constantly surrounded by kids. Sticky hands are always reaching for me, and sometimes, I just need a moment to myself—a space where I can lie down without anyone else invading my bubble. It’s a much-needed reprieve from the chaos, where I don’t have to worry about unexpected messes.
Safety Concerns.
While co-sleeping can be safe—especially if you’re not doing it on a couch or under the influence of sleep aids—even the most peaceful baby can become a little ninja in the night. Once they outgrow the burrito stage, it’s a whole different ball game. You might find yourself waking up to a tiny foot in your face or a baby rolling over onto you, which can be quite alarming!
Intimacy Issues.
During those three months of co-sleeping, intimacy was not an issue since I was in recovery. But for other parents, the idea of finding “creative” ways to reconnect seems impractical. Where exactly does that happen? The minions are always lurking, and the only time we get to ourselves is when they are fast asleep—behind closed doors.
My Sanctuary.
In a life where everything I own is shared with my kids, my bed remains a personal sanctuary. It’s where I read, write, and enjoy silence. If I want to watch TV or listen to music, I can choose my own content without the intrusion of cartoons or irritating kids’ songs.
Quality Sleep.
Sleep is a precious commodity, and I don’t get nearly enough of it. The sleep I do manage to get must be of good quality. Waking up constantly to little pokes or unexpected noises leaves me feeling like a zombie the next day. It’s hard to enjoy a restful night when you’re worried about the possibility of a warm spot being wet.
I fully support parents making the best choices for their families. However, if you’re considering co-sleeping, maybe think about investing in a larger bed for your child. Sharing space comes with sacrifices, and honestly, that’s a bit crazy.
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To summarize, co-sleeping may work for some, but for me, it’s all about having my space, ensuring safety, maintaining intimacy, and enjoying quality sleep.
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