Do I look ridiculous in this outfit? Ugh… that woman from the school pickup line was so judgmental today. I’m considering a waxing appointment, but I’m terrified. Should I go for it? These are the kinds of messages I receive from one of my dearest friends, Sarah, who I’ve known for 18 years. We mostly communicate through texts, juggling our lives as we both raise kids. If you’re familiar with the show Grey’s Anatomy, you’ll understand when I say she’s “my person.”
It’s hard to tell who is more like Meredith and who is Cristina; we both share our quirks and insecurities, often leaning on each other. When I’m feeling low, she’s there to lift me up, and vice versa. A simple text might read, “Can we talk?” or “I need some guidance.” Sometimes, we just need to vent to someone who understands the chaos of motherhood, womanhood, and wifely duties.
I think our bond formed during one of the loneliest periods in my life, when I desperately craved companionship. We both transitioned from teaching in high school to being stay-at-home moms, which created an instant connection. We share similar experiences—her husband travels frequently, just like mine—and both of us have relocated, starting anew in unfamiliar places.
What truly solidifies our friendship is the reassurance that we are there for each other. Sarah is always ready to listen, offer advice, and provide a dose of truth when I ask for it. If I need a reality check, she’ll tell me straight up, “Get it together.” Yet, there’s never any judgment, which is vital for every woman.
We first crossed paths in October 2000, studying abroad in England. Two American girls navigating a sea of Europeans, struggling to understand British accents and terms like “loo” and “lorry.” From the moment I laid eyes on her in the computer lab, I knew I had to befriend her, and thankfully, she welcomed me with open arms. Perhaps it was my relentless pursuit or maybe she needed a friend just as much.
After returning to our respective corners of the U.S.—her in Washington and me in Massachusetts—we maintained our friendship through visits and phone calls. We stood by each other through milestones, whether celebrating new jobs or navigating the challenges of motherhood.
Over the years, we’ve matured from two clueless girls trying to figure out train schedules in England into women, teachers, wives, and mothers. In times of marital issues, loss, and family drama, we’ve always been there for one another. If one of us had a night out that went awry, the other would be there the next day to remind us, “We all mess up. Just make amends and you’ll be fine.”
Distance doesn’t diminish our friendship; we haven’t seen each other in years, but true friends can bridge that gap. They know when you’re on the edge and need to be pulled back before you unleash on your partner, child, or that difficult neighbor. They’re the ones who let you vent, allowing you to express your frustrations without judgment.
As we grow older, it’s clear that we don’t need a large circle of friends—just a few we can truly rely on. Within that small circle, it’s essential to have someone who can be your rock, whether you’re crying over life’s challenges or needing to discuss something as personal as health concerns. A friend who holds your secrets tightly and loves you unconditionally.
To Sarah—and all the other women who fill this vital role in our lives—we are forever grateful for your honesty and support. (And yes, that outfit might not be the best choice.)
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Summary
Every woman should have a brutally honest friend who offers support, truth, and a listening ear. This bond can provide guidance during the ups and downs of life, motherhood, and personal challenges, proving that true friendship knows no distance.