As a sports mom, my life seems to be divided into three parts: a third spent sleeping, a third consumed by thoughts of dinner, and the last third devoted to cheering on my kids at their countless youth sports events. With all that time spent on the sidelines, I often find myself pondering life’s deeper questions—or at least thinking about snacks, and how to sneak in a pack of Sour Patch Kids without judgment.
I genuinely love watching my kids play soccer, basketball, lacrosse, or football, but let’s face it: by the time I reach the 1,038th game of the season, it’s hard to maintain unwavering focus. My thoughts tend to wander, landing on things like:
- Why are we always parked so far from the field?
- Did I really forget to bring a blanket again? Oh wait, it’s in the car, but the dog threw up on it. Gross.
- This chair is the worst. Why do I always pick the broken one? I might as well just sit here until everyone leaves. I think my legs are stuck.
- Wait, how old are those players? That kid looks way too big to be ten. Does he have a mustache? He could probably drive himself home… and buy beer. Ha! I’m hilarious.
I love this sport… but do I have cankles?
Am I the only one wearing capris? I should shop for something new. That mom looks good in them, but she probably does pilates or something.
Is there a bar nearby?
How many minutes did my son actually play? Three? I should probably track that, but I never use apps.
Mmm, apps… like buffalo chicken dip.
Was that a raindrop? I hope it was.
Wow, that guy is loud. Oh wait, that’s just my husband. Not a jerk, just a little too enthusiastic.
Is that a bee? I can’t move! It’s too chilly for spring.
I wish I had my blanket. I need to wash it. And do laundry. And clean out the closets. And tackle the mountain of papers on the kitchen table. We need a new kitchen. Maybe we should move.
Is that my son out there? What number is he? Why is that other kid always playing? Oh right, the coach’s son. He’s not great, but he just scored. Ball hog!
Uh-oh, she’s coming over to chat. What’s her name? Think straight, think straight. I like her hair. I hate mine.
Did I just feel rain again?
What should I make for dinner? I really dislike cooking. Do we even need dinner?
I need to go to the bathroom, but those restrooms are always gross. No toilet paper, no hand towels, and spiders everywhere. I can hold it… I’m stuck in this chair anyway.
How did I forget my fleece again? Go team!
Am I yelling too loud? I probably sounded like a comedian.
What’s the score?
I like her sunglasses. They’d look good on me, but I’d end up looking like Tina Belcher instead.
Is that rain? Was that out of bounds? What’s the score?
She seems nice… until she starts screaming.
Is the game almost over? Where did I park? Where’s my other kid? Great, now I have that Justin Bieber song stuck in my head.
I could really go for shrimp and linguine with a glass of wine… wasn’t that a movie? Who starred in that? Oh right, Bruce Willis.
Did I even bring my other child?
I should take some photos… oh no, memory full! Delete, delete, delete… oh, that’s cute! Delete, delete. What’s the score now? Overtime? Please no.
I really need to pee. Was that rain? Please let it be rain.
In Conclusion
Being a sports mom is a whirlwind of thoughts, distractions, and a healthy dose of humor. While I truly cherish these moments, navigating the chaos of youth sports events is certainly a unique experience filled with its own set of challenges and reflections.
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