It happens quite often. We’re at the store, and I send her to the end of the aisle on a hunt for something imaginary, like a blue box with green letters—though sometimes that backfires, and we end up with an unexpected treat (hello, cookies!). I’m just trying to keep her entertained while I shop. She’s bouncing around, chatting in a sing-song voice, and suddenly she’s scaling the shelves. I remind her not to treat the grocery store like a jungle gym. She begins to rattle boxes of cereal and crackers, creating a symphony of sounds. By this point, other shoppers are casting curious glances our way. I keep correcting her, explaining that not everyone wants to buy crumbs along with their snacks.
After a few aisles of this, I inevitably hear the familiar comment from a stranger: “Wow, she’s quite spirited.” This usually comes after she’s made a loud noise, jumped from a shelf, or had an outburst of excitement or frustration. At nearly six, she’s getting a bit old for some of these antics, and “spirited” feels like a euphemism that doesn’t quite capture the reality of her behavior.
I understand that language around pediatric mental health can be tricky, and while “spirited” seems harmless at first, it can overshadow the deeper challenges she faces. Children with ADHD, anxiety, or bipolar disorder experience much more than just being lively. When you see my child darting from one thing to another, you might think she’s simply energetic. However, behind that lively exterior is a little girl grappling with intense emotions that are often invisible.
It’s frustrating to explain repeatedly that my daughter’s spirited nature doesn’t equate to mischief or bad behavior—she’s just really trying to be a child. One day she might seem perfectly fine, and the next she’s attempting to leap out of the car. That spirited girl is battling an internal struggle to navigate her emotions.
That said, children with pediatric mental illness possess remarkable strengths. Those with ADHD or bipolar disorder can have vivid imaginations that allow them to create fantastical worlds. Their attention to detail can be astonishing, and they often bring an infectious excitement about life. My daughter embodies these wonderful traits and more.
It’s essential to remember that words hold significant power. Even what may seem like innocuous comments can have a deeper impact. While it’s true that children with mental health challenges can be spirited, they are also so much more than that. They are navigating their identities, and it takes more than a single term to encapsulate their experiences.
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In summary, the term “spirited” may seem flattering, but it can diminish the real struggles children with mental health issues face. These kids are unique, full of energy, and battle with emotions that are not easily visible. They deserve understanding and support that goes beyond surface-level adjectives.