As a mom, I’ve found myself developing a set of peculiar habits that my pre-baby self would have found utterly bizarre. Despite trying various forms of therapy—like self-hypnosis, journaling, and yes, even a little chocolate—nothing can seem to shake my newfound motherly quirks. Here are 31 strange addictions that only moms will truly understand:
- Discussing my child’s bodily fluids with anyone who makes the mistake of asking about my day, including the teen at the grocery store.
- Speaking in animated cartoon voices long after my child has outgrown that stage.
- Making silly faces and noises in a desperate attempt to coax a smile for the camera.
- Buying vibrant plastic toys simply because they’re on sale.
- The Dollar Store is my second home. (Refer to #4.)
- T.M.S.S. (Too Much Stuff Schlepping): “I need diapers, wipes, extra outfits, books for boredom, toys, the tablet (is it charged?), snacks, water, hair ties, and maybe even some silverware. Oh, and the kitchen sink.”
- Certain reality shows reassure me that I’m not the only one fumbling through parenthood.
- Wine and Bravo—together or separately, they’re a must.
- Coffee is life—seriously, can I get a refill on that?
- Sneaking in a whiff of my child’s hair when they’re not looking, fully embracing the creeper vibes.
- Finding hidden adult jokes in Disney movies, whether my kid is present or not.
- Online shopping is a lifesaver; who has time for brick-and-mortar stores with kids in tow?
- Getting sucked into tie-dye projects that thrill the little ones for about 30 seconds.
- Obsessing over mom blogs for tips and relatable stories.
- Engaging in a little drama by reading negative comments on those blogs and sharing a laugh with other moms.
- Extracting juicy details from my single friends about their dating lives, all while being secretly grateful I’m out of that game.
- Yes, I will say it again: discussing bodily fluids is a favorite pastime.
- Pinterest—because there’s always something new to obsess over.
- Constantly comparing my parenting style with those of others, for better or worse.
- Wiping something off my child’s face and accidentally tasting it. Spoiler: “That was not chocolate.”
- Target is my happy place.
- Planning birthday parties that spiral out of control, turning a simple gathering into a bouncy castle extravaganza. “Who brought the bubble guns?”
- Oversleeping? Just kidding, that’s a fantasy.
- Sharing my birth story with anyone expecting, regardless of their interest level.
- Swaying side to side as if I’m still rocking a baby to sleep.
- I’ve become a frequent visitor to WebMD for every little ailment.
- Using my own saliva to clean my child’s face, despite having baby wipes within reach. (See #20.)
- Sneaking dessert in the bathroom to avoid sharing—mom’s gotta have her treats too!
- Adding “-ie” to words liberally, like “Can mommy have a hug-ie?”
- Indulging in macaroni and cheese, quesadillas, and grilled cheese is my culinary downfall. My hips have a lot to say about it.
- Concluding articles with mushy sentiments about motherhood is a guilty pleasure.
In the midst of all these quirks, the love I have for seeing my child smile and sharing those precious moments of laughter and cuddles makes it all worthwhile.
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Summary: Motherhood brings with it a slew of quirky habits that only other moms can truly understand. From discussing bodily fluids to indulging in guilty pleasures like targeted online shopping and sneaking dessert in the bathroom, these strange addictions define our daily lives. At the heart of it all, the joy of being a mom outweighs the madness.
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