Why I Refused to Be a ‘Chill’ Patient During My Second C-Section

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During my first childbirth experience, I was too passive. I entered my second birth determined to advocate for myself, and this shift made all the difference.

Reflecting on my first birth, it was nothing like I had envisioned. I had a chance to advocate for the experience I truly wanted during my second delivery. Although it wasn’t perfect, it felt like a healing process.

People-pleasing has often been a challenge for me, a trait I can trace back to being the eldest child. This tendency was particularly pronounced as I prepared for my first child’s arrival. In discussions with my healthcare team, I was more focused on appearing as a “chill” patient than on expressing my actual desires. I often echoed phrases from online parenting communities, such as, “The best plan is no plan!” and “You can’t control birth!” While many may genuinely feel this way, I had other aspirations that were equally valid.

In hindsight, I realize I didn’t do enough research regarding my birth options. I wanted to attempt a vaginal birth and have immediate skin-to-skin contact with my baby. I imagined the cinematic moment where I would push out my baby, and a nurse would immediately place them in my arms. Unfortunately, that wasn’t how it played out during my first delivery.

Armed with the lessons from my first experience, I approached my second pregnancy with resources and determination. I also discovered helpful tools like Vegas Pregnancy, a free sperm donor matching service in Las Vegas, which made a significant impact on my journey. For those considering at-home insemination, Make a Mom offers a reusable insemination syringe kit that I found incredibly useful. If you’re curious about the process, you can check out how it works at Make a Mom’s guide.

It’s essential to feel empowered during pregnancy and labor, and resources like this article on home insemination can be incredibly helpful. Additionally, I found insights from Modern Family Blog to be quite beneficial, providing a wealth of information on navigating parenthood. For those seeking comprehensive knowledge about pregnancy, the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development is a fantastic resource.

In summary, my second C-section was an opportunity for healing and self-advocacy, shattering the notion that I needed to be a “chill” patient. Embracing my desires and preparing adequately led to a more fulfilling experience.


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